The North Atlantic Leisure Club

Greetings close family and friends! 

I've been working on a funny project. Most of you know about it, but it's time to make my intentions more explicit. I've been debating how to best debut, or perhaps unveil this project, and several options came to mind: Should I craft a lengthy email? A series of phone calls? A Facebook post? A Snapchat? (yeah right -- none of us use Snapchat)

Instead, I felt the inexplicable urge to craft a blog post like I did during he late twenty 'aughts and early twenty teens, and then bury said post in the archives. It'll be hidden in plain sight, only visible to those who know where to look (meaning, those who I send this link). I suppose there's an off chance that someone might decide to read my blog in chronological order, in which case this post would represent a jarring discontinuity, a turbulent eddy in my blog's otherwise laminar flow of race reports, self-indulgent poetry, and photos of my food. I also like to imagine that, by simply back-dating this post's publishing date, that it actually appeared on my blog back in 2011. 

Imagine the confusion my handful of regular readers of the time would have felt: 

Hark! I prithee, for what cause hath called hither this wandering scribe? [Everyone talked like this back in 2011, remember?] What tidings were fit to traverse the mists of time from the year of our Lord two thousand six-and-twenty? Surely only a cause most noble and true. Perchance he hopes to forewarn us of looming tempests -- of orange tyrants, or calamitous plagues, or murderous machines upon our horizon? Or perchance he hath arrived not as a harbinger of woe, but as a vessel of grace, bringing wisdom, riches, or joyous hearts? What say thee, traveler, wherefore art thou here? 

Bocce. I'm here to talk about bocce. 

That's right: bocce ball. Bowls. Jeu de boules. 

The silly yard game on the silly court where you try to huck the silly balls at each other. I've traveled back fifteen years so that I might announce the eventual launch of the: 

I've had this idea for over a year now, and it's time to finally put my plans into action. Bocce has long held a special place in my family. You see, bocce is for everyone, which is critical when you have a family like mine. Bocce has long been the neutral meeting ground for my greater constellation of family members, the watering hole on the savannah as it were, where both the lion, the meerkat, the okapi, and the hornbill can simply slake their thirsts in relative harmony. Bocce teams can be formed to adjust for wide ranges of skill, competitiveness, or athleticism. Bocce rules can be strictly adhered to, allowing a true champion to emerge, or bent to make the game shorter, sillier, or more exciting. Bocce makes for entertaining spectating for those who'd rather just sit and watch. Bocce is enjoyable for those who prefer to have an alcoholic drink while they recreate and socialize, and for those who teetotal. In other words, Bocce has serves as both the location and the occasion for my family gatherings in Boise for quite some time, and I expect it to continue as such for years to come. 

Which is why...

...we've decided...

...to build a bocce court in our back yard. 

Let's start with my back yard, shall we: 

It's mostly mud. Our dog killed most of the grass. The apple tree is dying. The bushes are overgrown. It could be better. It could have a bocce court. 

Fortunately, I have a friend named Justin. And Justin has one of these things: 

Justin came over, and in a mere three days, he transformed my yard dramatically. We removed the bushes and the dying tree, scraped and leveled the bocce court pad, and lay down a bunch of the aggregate. By the time Justin and his mighty machine left, the court was rough, but playable: 

But ya see, as nice as this new version of my back yard is, the truth is, it's not ready to host a gathering just yet. It's still mostly mud, and I need to add some significant features before it's ready! What else does it need? 

Things like: 

• A privacy fence so we're not just staring into my neighbor's yard
• A couple of sections of patio at the ends of the court for people to hang out around 
• Some other landscaping with native plants so it looks pretty back there
• Some other features which can create ambiance and vibes

Over the next couple of months, I have a bunch of time I want to devote to making this yard a beautiful hangout space where we can host gatherings. The problem is: stuff is expensive these days. 

So, if you can see the vision, and you think you'd enjoy a little back-yard hangout at the North Atlantic Leisure Club, I could make excellent use of a little financial support (Venmo or Paypal work great). If you chip in, I'll be adding you to our exclusive Founder's Club, which will come with an honorary customized sun visor. Behold, an AI generated image of what I'm imagining: 

Either way, by all means, plan on joining me for my birthday! It should be a splendid 4th of July, and a triumphant launch of the North Atlantic Leisure Club! 

There will be bocce! There will be puppets! There will be food and drinks! There will be a little parade to the fireworks, and lastly, there will be bocce! Oh yes, there will be bocce.