Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I love cyclocross....

This post will be done in the style of long time friend, and fellow New Mexican, Dustin Garber.


so i was thinking it would good skills practice to race cyclocross but i'm so awful at hopping on and off. my friends take me in the truck to the only race in idaho at the tamarack resort. side note the tamarack resort is scary scary not unlike the city of las vegas in that it does not belong there. so basically i am so bad at cyclocross i sneak into the c's with an old license and quick smile at pretty check-in lady who i don't think really wanted to have sex with greg. gus and drew love yelling. we start and i go fast but greg goes faster. i bungle re-mount after crossing first barriers on second lap and violate anus and crotch region right in front of gus and drew who laugh while i scream like a man who just menaced his undercarriage with a pointy hard bike seat. this kills all drive to go fast, and makes race a battle to not get last. and this is the c's i must remind you. anyway greg wins and i tore the crotch on my purple skinsuit which i was wearing without chamois because my brain is only 43% active these days and forgets vital bicycle racing equipment like chamois allowing ballsack to peek through gross. i am not this big of a rookie. we drink beer that looks like it is soda. greg gets plastered and makes loud inappropriate comment to small children sipping free coffee. i guess i'm ok with finishing 4th in a tiny c's field because my break was rubbing really bad the whole time but oh dear i am bad at this sport.

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