Avoid the calamari

Oh, calamari
I mistrusted you at first
And mistrust you still...

Deep-fried rubber bands
Chunked mayonnaise dipping sauce
Token lemon wedge

I was so hungry
But my blast-furnace stomach
Vetoed those suckers

If only I'd puked
When I felt like puking, oh
If only I'd puked

Instead I waited
Green, shivering, fetal ball
Calamari's curse