Thanksgiving is great

11:43:18 - Exit parents' house fully dressed in 6 layers of spandex prepared for long ride in bitter cold. Discover flat tire. Curse.
11:45:29 - Realize I have neither tube, nor patch kit, nor tire levers to pry exceedingly tight tire off of rim (tire exceedingly tight thanks to extra beadless tire stuffed inside outer tire to serve as additional puncture protection). Realize that this requires return trip to house, now that move-out of parents' house is finally complete. Curse again.
11:58:27 - Return home completely overheating (thanks to 6 layers of spandex in a by now quite warn automobile) after red-light-filled drive across town.
12:09:01 - Apply last remaining patch to hole in tube, realizing that should this patch fail, there would be no riding today. Reinsert tube into overstuffed tire (thanks to extra beadless tire).
12:19:32 - Check e-mail obsessively compulsively, despite the fact that since graduating from college number of e-mails and facebook messages have dropped roughly 63%.
12:27:18 - Eat apple.
12:29:50 - Exit house fully dressed in 6 layers of spandex prepared for long ride in bitter cold. Smile as patch job appears to be successful. Head Northwest on Hill Road.
3:40:44 - Return home throughly exhausted, high on endorphins, numb in the extremities, and famished.
3:41:04 - Place bicycle in custom built bicycle rack capable of neatly, efficiently and conveniently storing up to seven bicycles in our living room. Thank you very much.
3:41:43 - Strip off spandex. Check e-mail obsessively compulsively.
3:48:12 - Slam down recovery drink while taking hot shower. Enjoy returned sensation to extremities.
3:56:00 - Dress the fuck up -- grandma's going to be there after all.
4:04:38 - Drive back across town, green lights the whole way!
4:13:22 - Return to parents house with roughly 4 minutes to spare before we were instruected to sit down and begin feasting.
4:15:57 - Feast. Food never tasted so good.