Friday, June 29, 2012


EVERYBODY -- SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TOMORROW! Apparently somewhere deep inside a cave in the heart of the Swiss alps, there's a group of secretive cloaked figures who keep the world's time. They meter it out like a dam meters out the flow of a reservoir. For most of our lives, the flow has been consistent, reliable, and fixed. Seven days in a week. Sixty minutes in an hour. Well not tomorrow. Tomorrow, June 30th, the time keepers are opening up the valve just a hair more than usual: tomorrow has an extra second!

Read about it here, nonbelievers:

There are two things I must bring up. First, and I can't stress this enough, DO SOMETHING GOOD WITH YOUR SECOND! Make a wish, kiss a lover, slap a face, howl at the moon -- something, anything, but make it count! 

This leads me to my second point: if the time keepers can give time, they can take it away too! You must take full advantage of this extra time because who knows what adjustments they'll make next! What if they shut things off to a mere trickle. Imagine: "FROM HENCE FORTH, THERE SHALL BE TEN SECONDS IN A DAY -- NO MORE, NO LESS!" Good luck getting your taxes in on time -- April is only like two hours away!

Here's a video clip showing what you can do in a second. Enjoy:

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Beep Boop, Mars Bars

If you visit New York for a week, you're not a New Yorker. But if you live there for thirty years, most people would agree that you have some claim to that title, even if you weren't born there. So here's a question: if people go to Mars, and stay there long enough to change their mailing address, do they become Martians? Most of the difficulties that plague a manned mission to Mars have nothing to do with getting there -- the problem is getting back to Earth. Think about it: to escape Martian gravity, you'd need a launch vehicle of considerable size, only slightly smaller than the ones we need to exit Earth's gravity field. How the hell are we going to get a rocket that big out to Mars? Build it there? Order it on Amazon? Yeah right. The truth is, Mars' first human visitors will probably be there for the rest of their lives. NASA has proposed the idea themselves, but a new (albeit slightly unsettling) idea has just cropped up you should know about. It's called Mars One, and the proposal revolves around making the lives of the Martians into an - ahem - giant reality TV show. Gone are the days when sovereign nations would point to the stars in a giant pissing contest of industrial might. Here are the days when the advertising dollars of our media-crazed culture can fling people far into the cosmos solely for our entertainment. It's like the Truman Show, only on a planetary scale.

Read about the idea here, and watch this video if you don't believe me. 

But before we get carried away with science fiction, let's get excited about some science fact. Right now, sailing through space, there's a friggin huge Mars rover! It's hurtling towards the red planet at ~13,000 miles per hour. It's been en route since November, and it's expected to land on August 6th. The thing needs to enter the Martian atmosphere, deploy the largest parachute ever used for atmospheric entry, ditch its heat shield, ignite a shitload of landing rockets, activate the sky-crane, carefully lower the rover to the ground, and finally detach the crane so it can fly away, leaving the badass rover exactly where it's supposed to be. It's a technological balancing act unlike anything we've seen in space exploration, and if it works, I'll buy the next NASA employee I see a beer. Or hell, I'll buy NASA a whole round of beers. That's right NASA -- I'm offering to buy all 18,800 of you, a beer. Just find me in the bar next time you're in Boise, tell me a story about space travel, and I'll be happy to purchase you a nice PBR for your trouble. Only, not all at once guys; I'm kinda broke right now.


Watch this video about how effing crazy the landing of the rover will be. And don't forget to cross your fingers on August 6th.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012



Big special thanks to  for the photo!

Thursday, June 21, 2012


First, let me warm you up with this (just press play and enjoy the song):

My good friends Clark and Molly Blumenstein of Blumenstein Audio paid a visit to Boise this week. I've been treated to an amazing sonic journey, thanks to Clark's gorgeous speakers. Check out these babies...they're SINFULLY good:

There's more where that came from over on Trademark Sign Company's FB page.

A Month??? A WHOLE MONTH???

Jiminy Christmas on a freezin' cold Friday, I've been negligent! Blog, I've forsaken thee, for nearly a whole month now. I can only hope that the damage isn't permanent. Blogs are like dogs: infinitely trusting, and willing to follow you to the ends of the earth. Dogs (and blogs) will tolerate all sorts of indignities and discomforts if you ask them to (awful grammar, misspellings, bland content, etc) because hey, you're the master. But every dog (and every blog) has it's breaking point. If you break that trust, say by abandoning your dog without food or water inside your car with the windows rolled in the middle of a desert filled with evil hyaenas, it's virtually impossible to restore the relationship to what it was. Hopefully, I staunched the bleeding in time.

Now then, on to a recap of this weekend. Krogg, will you do the honors?

Krogg do little thing called "smash" this weekend. It go like this:

Krogg have logic. This weekend, State Road Race Championships 72 miles. Start for race in Emmett, Idaho. Emmett Idaho 42 miles away from Boise. So...ride to Emmett + State Road Race = 114 miles. See? Logic! Good ride for caveman! Proper distance to prepare for big big race at end of year. So Krogg ride to Emmett  -- only one thing! Krogg FORGET to plan right! Next thing Krogg know, KROGG LATE! Krogg have to ride very hard, like woolly rhino on way to first fresh grass of spring time. Krogg HAMMER out to Emmett, and then quick, prepare for race. Pin number, eat food, and go to start line. BANG! Race start, and Krogg see very few other racer in attendance. Krogg think: in this situation, it good idea to do....same thing Krogg always do. ATTACK! At top of first climb, Krogg attack and take one other caveman, Paul, with Krogg. Next thing, Krogg and Paul away in breakaway and work together for some time. Ride very hard. But eventually, Paul get tired, and Krogg get tired, and after 50 miles group of 5 chase down Krogg and Paul. Not long after that happen...KROGG ATTACK THROUGH FEED ZONE! Then there only 3 cavemen left with Krogg. Krogg with with other caveman until final few miles. Krogg wait until stretch of rough pavement...then ATTACK!!! Now there only one more caveman, Tim, left with Krogg. But wow...Krogg tired. Tim pull through nice and hard for Krogg, and guess what Krogg do? You got it: ATTACK! But Tim answer right back and say "oh no you don't Krogg...I've got your wheel now, and I'll be damned if I pull through again." At this point, Krogg in a bit of a pickle. Tim NOT going to pull through again, and Krogg legs very very very tired, and have no sprint whatsoever left in them. Fortunately (for Krogg), there one more false flat left in race...slight rise. Not steep, but enough that maybe, just maybe, if Krogg close eyes, strap on harness, and leap off ledge into abyss of pain cave, Krogg can drop Tim. And as luck would have it...Krogg just BARELY unhook Tim from Krogg wheel. Last 4 miles extremely painful, but Krogg hang on, and take first place! SEE? KROGG SMASH!!!!!

Good job Tim, good job Colton!