Sunday, October 30, 2011

Internet, Thank You

Insurance companies can't be all bad -- not if they're paying people to make these wonderful guinea-pig based commercials. If you haven't seen this yet, you're missing out. Here's the TV spot:

And here's the awesome extended bit, which features real live guinea pig actors:

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I Saved a TOAD!

A toad in the road
"MOVE, stubby tail! Off the trail!"
Slow crawl to safety

October's first frost
Go hibernate already
Amphibian fool

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

New News is News!

I kick ass at the internet. I visit all the coolest pages, click on all the best links, see all the funniest cat videos, and sift through all the headiest forums and discussion boards -- all while avoiding the pitfalls of viruses, scams, and smut that plague lesser internet users. I vainly fancy myself a jedi night of the web, but there is a lot of it out there, and sometimes good web pages go un-viewed. In this post, I want to share a few cycling-based websites that are new to me. I'll let Krogg explain what's cool about these sites:

Krogg discover CycleDirt on Twitter. Krogg not good cyclecross racer, but cyclecross still hold place in Krogg heart. CycleDirt all about cyclrcross, and mostly focus on USA. CycleDirt make giant fantasy rankings of cyclecross to see WHO NUMBER 1! Krogg love fantasy rankings because Krogg easily insert self: one time krogg beat Ryan Trombone in time trial (Ryan no have aero equipment, but that irrelevant), and Ryan kick ass in rankings -- THEREFORE Krogg could be at least second in rankings if Krogg wanted. Krogg love CycleDirt because of funny videos and because Logan Owen and Steve Fisher get props -- THOSE CAVEMEN DESERVE PROPS! 

Cyclismas website blend kind of like coffee blend, or house red wine -- Krogg have no idea where it's from, but Krogg like. Part news, part commentary, part humor. Krogg enjoy recent story about Lance at recent XTerra race  -- here quote: 

Armstrong’s 23rd place overshadowed a phenomenal performance by Austrian Michael Weiss, who was the actual winner of the event. The jublilant Austrian’s press conference, however, was interrupted by Armstrong’s bellows of comeback 3.0 at the back of the room, swaying the press corps’ attention away from the victor.
“After a few seconds of deliberation, it is my intention to return to the sport of professional cycling. I have already spoken with my mentor, Johan Bruyneel, who is welcoming me with open arms to his new team that was to be led by the Schleck Brothers. I look forward to potentially helping, or inspiring, or torpedoing, their efforts to win a Tour, depending on whatever I feel like doing at the time,” declared a stubborn Armstrong.

See? It funny because Lance already come out of retirement once! Krogg realize that Cyclimas pretty much only funny to people who already read WAY too much about cycling in first palce, but if you one of those people -- enjoy! 

Tuesday, October 25, 2011



Saturday, October 22, 2011



First off, our roster is finalized, and has been released to the world. Read all about it at Peloton Magazine. I'd personally like to welcome good friend and former team mate Morgan Schmitt to the program. We were racing together WAY back in 2006 on the Broadmark Capitol Cycling Team. Morgan's been a pro ever since then, but he and I have stayed in touch, and I'm thrilled to see him on Exergy. Prepare for the best season of your life Mo'Chedda.

Next -- and this is huge -- today is my dad's birthday! Not just that, it's his 60th birthday! For those of you who are lucky to know Roy Johnson, make sure you wish him happy birthday. While I don't mention him much here on the blog, just trust me when I say I'd never have become a bicycle racer without his unwavering, unconditional support. Thanks daddy. Happy 60th birthday.
My renaissance-man of a father. 

Life and Death

Ahhh Halloween. There is no time of year that more effectively makes me ponder the meaning of life....than zombie season. Something about watching a shotgun wielding hero brutally dismember of legions of the undead really makes me appreciate all small stuff -- my morning coffee, a sunrise, or not having evil demons posses my friends and family members for instance. Here's what I've been doing to get my zombie fix of late:

Walking Dead. This TV series is a very contemporary take on zombies and the problems they create. While sure, the story is set in a zombie infested wasteland, the zombies themselves are much less prominent than the characters and their drama. Less gore, more grappling with the psychological hardships of scrambling for survival in a dangerous place.

Contemplating attending the Zombie Pub Crawl. LivingSocial does these organized activities, where you sign up to partake in a cool experience. Imagine invading a bar dressed as a zombie (and with an army of the undead at your back), and taking to the dance floor for a night of shaking booty -- corpse style! Corny? Yes. Fun? Hell yes.

Going to Evil Dead the Musical. If you ever watched the glorious, gory-ious B-movie trilogy of Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, and Army of Darkness, then you'd absolutely love the stage adaptation. First off (and best off), it's a musical. Second, it absolutely nails the campy, B-movie flair that made the movies so popular. Boise Weekly wrote a great review of the production, so I won't bother doing the same. I don't recall ever seeing a stage production whereat a shit-eating grin was so thoroughly plastered across my face the entire time. Thanks Daisy's Madhouse -- you nailed it.

Friday, October 14, 2011


I've been in the snake saving business for quite some time, but these two late season additions should bolster my stats, and do wonders for me come next seasons's fantasy cycling draft. The big one was clearly the smarter of the two, and he moved off the trail with little fuss. The small snake was an insolent little wretch, and instead of moving, decided to hold his ground, hiss like crazy, and bite the little stick I was using to herd him to safety. Such ingratitude!
Big snake:

Little snake attempt 1:

Little snake attempt 2 (with water):

(note: I got both of them off the trail safely.)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


College. College reunion. Five-year college reunion. Christ, already!? I just left that place! Deep breath. Let's take stock: since leaving college I have done the following:

  • race bicycles
  • grow older

Is that it? Pretty much. But chill out, it's not a contest. You're attending this thing to reunite. To remember. Wow, remember college? What a life. What a way of life. So few worries. So much learning. So dynamic: busy all day, mentally and physically hyper-stimulated, incredible teachers, incredible peers, massive array of activities to choose from, never enough sleep, never caught up, broke as can be, but what a rich life! So simple. So sheltered. 

Self conscious -- what are we doing? Those days are over. Grow up, alumni. That fleeting magic of college is gone...right? Spending a weekend drinking cheap beer for old times sake, and repeating the same three-minute summary of "what I've been up to the last five years" isn't going to bring it back. Or won't it? Can't we re-kindle those embers, albeit only for a weekend? What about my friends? Those hundreds of friends I gathered throughout college? The ones I shared real experiences and real connections with, but have since been reduced to the occasional status update or tagged photo. The ones I'd study with until the middle of the night, or who'd join me for brunch on Sundays. The ones who'd attend chamber music concerts, and then argue about the meaning of art with me. The ones who I'd meet at 4AM at the track to figure out (once and for all this time) who can run a mile faster. The ones who I'd see only rarely, and only at two AM, on the back porch of a house party, smoking cigarettes. Will they still be the same? Or will they have morphed into older, lamer, richer, less idealistic, fatter, married, pregnant versions of their former selves?  Oh the nerves. 

Like most things in life, the beginning was awkward. All those old faces! Look there's Jack! There's Maggie! There's Stephen! I want to know what he does now! I want to hear how her life is going! But it's overwhelming. Too many people to catch up with. Too little time. Sure it was great hearing how John is an air traffic controller, and that Beth is a day trader, but I end up talking to Dylan for nearly half an hour -- more words than we'd exchanged throughout our entire four years of college combined! We didn't share much then, and don't share much now...why the hell did we do that? Awkwardness? Politeness? Because we're "real adults" now? We talked about the weather for crying out loud! What a waste. I threw out my voice the first night, shouting, over and over again to loose acquaintances in a crowded bar, the fact that "yeah, I'm still racing bicycles." By the end of the night I feel schmoozed out -- but that's all it was. Schmoozing. Lots of schmoozing. 

Then, on Saturday, the dam of my current self burst, and gave way to the man I was in college. I released my desire to have a token exchange with everyone I used to be friends with, and instead just enjoyed being at a party, surrounded by my friends. I mostly talked with those I was closest to, and so did everyone else. The old dynamics, resurfacing, ossifying. By the end of the night, if I saw an old friend, a glance across the room was enough to satisfy me. A moment of eye-contact that said: yes, our friendship was real, and our times together were special, and I'm happy to see that you're alive and well -- but a glance will have to do for now. And that's when the magic of college came roaring back to life. Albeit only for a weekend. 

Wallet Time

As I mentioned last week, I recently had my wallet stolen while in Paris, France. This meant I had to replace the wallet itself, and its contents. First, I went to a store and purchased a new wallet. I'd maintained my previous one for nearly a decade, so the change has been jarring (my old one was a tri-fold, this one a bi-fold -- shocking, I know). Then I called my bank, my health insurance company, and went to the DMV. I found the time-frame which which the various companies or institutions reacted to my request for a replacement card somewhat ironic. My bank materialized a new debit card before I even finished saying the words "I lost my...." **Poof** It was there the next day in the mail -- lord knows how they did it (my guess: they borrowed those same gnomes who deliver Netflix). The insurance card showed up later in the week, and naturally, I'm still waiting on my drivers license. In light of the national unrest and anger aimed at the banking and health insurance industries, they did manage to deliver some rather speedy customer service. I doubt my bank would give me a loan if I asked for one, but heaven forbid I have to spend more than forty-eight hours without access to my precious money! I GOTTA BUY THINGS, RIGHT??! The government run DMV on the other hand has taken its sweet time getting me a new ID (although truth be told, they issued me a cardboard temporary license that, while garnering many suspicious looks from bouncers at bars, is ultimately valid). What really bums me out about losing my wallet is losing the irreplaceable items. I had seven punches on my Taco Del Mar punch card, those bastards!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Music and Math

This morning shall be devoted to music and math. First, the music. I've been to two concerts this week (which might be my lifetime record for most concerts attended in one week). Oddly enough, at both of those concerts, I liked the opening bands far more than the headliners. On Tuesday I saw the Velvet Teen, a blast from my past (more to come on that):

And last night, I got my little mind micro-blown by this Edmonton duo called The Purity Ring (this isn't an official video, but it's disturbingly sweet):

Now then, on to the math.
I'd like to point you to this particularly well written article about the largest numbers in existence. By "in existence" the article's author  is referring to the largest number we (meaning mathematicians) can actually use for something. It's a fun little adventure of the mind, and if you're not used to stretching your brain with theoretical numbers, you'll be astounded how quickly the limits of your comprehension are reached. Also, if you liked that article, I'd also suggest reading the companion piece about infinity -- did you know that not all infinities are created equal? That some are larger than others? I don't get it either, but I had fun trying.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


  • When I was younger, I'd take every opportunity to fill my gullet to the brim with the nutritional abomination known as sugary, colorful breakfast cereal. Part of me (the morbid part), would love to see the volume of sugar I've consumed thus far in my life. I wonder how much? Enough to fill a kiddy pool? Certainly. Enough to fill the Boston aquarium? Maybe, and largely thanks to those cereals. We would tear through a sack of Malt-o-Meal Coco Roos like a pack of wild dogs tearing through a deer carcass, which was fitting because those sacks more closely resembled 50 lb bags of dog food than they did breakfast for children. I'd go over to my friend's houses and get busted eating Waffle Crisp out of a mixing bowl. Downing a whole box of Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs in an afternoon wasn't unheard of (hell, it wasn't even uncommon). I've eaten enough cereal for several lifetimes. Which is why I'm relieved that I no longer find those cereals appetizing. Don't get me wrong, if left with little choice, I'll still eat the occasional serving of Cap'n Crunch. But it's not the same. I get grossed out after two or three bowls. I mean bites -- I get grossed out after two or three bites. My tastes have changed. Now I even find the "lightly sweetened" GoLean Crisp a little too sweet. I've have had to start cutting my GoLean with raw millet to balance it out.
  • KEXP Finally came out with an Android App! JOYOUS DAY! Now I can stay tuned into the best radio station in the face of the planet from my phone. Thanks KEXP -- I'm thrilled to be back! 
  • I FIXED MY PANTS. I bought a sewing machine. I taught myself how to use it. I looked up videos online that demonstrated how to fix ripped jeans, and voila! Those nice Lucky 7's Alan gave me years ago with the ripped butt? BACK IN BUSINESS! Those corduroys with the blown crotch seam? LOOKING GREAT! Go me. 
  • Note: not my pants. Or my butt.