Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Month??? A WHOLE MONTH???

Jiminy Christmas on a freezin' cold Friday, I've been negligent! Blog, I've forsaken thee, for nearly a whole month now. I can only hope that the damage isn't permanent. Blogs are like dogs: infinitely trusting, and willing to follow you to the ends of the earth. Dogs (and blogs) will tolerate all sorts of indignities and discomforts if you ask them to (awful grammar, misspellings, bland content, etc) because hey, you're the master. But every dog (and every blog) has it's breaking point. If you break that trust, say by abandoning your dog without food or water inside your car with the windows rolled in the middle of a desert filled with evil hyaenas, it's virtually impossible to restore the relationship to what it was. Hopefully, I staunched the bleeding in time.

Now then, on to a recap of this weekend. Krogg, will you do the honors?

Krogg do little thing called "smash" this weekend. It go like this:

Krogg have logic. This weekend, State Road Race Championships 72 miles. Start for race in Emmett, Idaho. Emmett Idaho 42 miles away from Boise. So...ride to Emmett + State Road Race = 114 miles. See? Logic! Good ride for caveman! Proper distance to prepare for big big race at end of year. So Krogg ride to Emmett  -- only one thing! Krogg FORGET to plan right! Next thing Krogg know, KROGG LATE! Krogg have to ride very hard, like woolly rhino on way to first fresh grass of spring time. Krogg HAMMER out to Emmett, and then quick, prepare for race. Pin number, eat food, and go to start line. BANG! Race start, and Krogg see very few other racer in attendance. Krogg think: in this situation, it good idea to do....same thing Krogg always do. ATTACK! At top of first climb, Krogg attack and take one other caveman, Paul, with Krogg. Next thing, Krogg and Paul away in breakaway and work together for some time. Ride very hard. But eventually, Paul get tired, and Krogg get tired, and after 50 miles group of 5 chase down Krogg and Paul. Not long after that happen...KROGG ATTACK THROUGH FEED ZONE! Then there only 3 cavemen left with Krogg. Krogg with with other caveman until final few miles. Krogg wait until stretch of rough pavement...then ATTACK!!! Now there only one more caveman, Tim, left with Krogg. But wow...Krogg tired. Tim pull through nice and hard for Krogg, and guess what Krogg do? You got it: ATTACK! But Tim answer right back and say "oh no you don't Krogg...I've got your wheel now, and I'll be damned if I pull through again." At this point, Krogg in a bit of a pickle. Tim NOT going to pull through again, and Krogg legs very very very tired, and have no sprint whatsoever left in them. Fortunately (for Krogg), there one more false flat left in race...slight rise. Not steep, but enough that maybe, just maybe, if Krogg close eyes, strap on harness, and leap off ledge into abyss of pain cave, Krogg can drop Tim. And as luck would have it...Krogg just BARELY unhook Tim from Krogg wheel. Last 4 miles extremely painful, but Krogg hang on, and take first place! SEE? KROGG SMASH!!!!!

Good job Tim, good job Colton! 


Martin Criminale said...

Holy shit...! Obviously the secrete to winning is just to go faster (and harder and more often) than everyone else in the race. :)


cycloid said...

Way to ride Krogg!