SOUR POWER

When I was a child, I had a humongous sweet-tooth. I'd eat as much candy as my mother would allow me to, (which wasn't very much, despite my constant begging). Halloween and Easter, with their unrestrained candy gluttony, were my favorite holidays. Once I grew older however, and gained the agency necessary to bike down to the store on my own, things changed drastically. I would buy ten dollars worth of candy, and eat it all in one sitting. My favorite kind of candy was without question, the sour gummy. Sour Patch, Bright Crawlers, Sour Punch, Sour Coke Bottles, Gummi Peach-O's, you name it -- if it was soft, chewy and tart, I loved it. Well it turns out, some of that stuff is actually hazardously sour. As I just learned on Gizmodo, some sour candy is almost as bad for your teeth as battery acid.

I undoubtedly did permanent damage to my tooth enamel eating mass quantities of super sour candies. I remember puckering so hard I couldn't see straight -- and I loved it. It looks like the sour candy arms race has only escalated since I was a child too -- just look at this: 

Yes, that's right: Toxic Waste Candy. Their slogan is "hazardously sour candy." Their website is themed like a nuclear power plant, and they feature pucker-videos where people try the Toxic Waste Challenge on camera and record their reactions: 

You know, we live in a crazy world: feed your toddler battery acid, you're going to jail for child abuse. Feed him Toxic Waste, and that's some funny Youtube right there!