Cascade Coverage Begins Now!

Welcome sports fans to the best coverage on the face of the internet of the most exciting bicycle race on the face of the planet, the Cascade Cycling Classic.

Now mark my words, I am here to personally kick the snot of every single other racer here. Pro contracts, impressive resumes, or bulging muscles be damned, heads will roll! Not only that, I have a whole team of highly-trained bicycle ninjas at my side to help me do the kicking (not that I need help per-se, but should there be any runaways, teammates could come in handy).

I have contracted the services of Oracle Paul, the magical octopus, to predict who will win the first stage.

Just like at the world cup, I gave Oracle Paul a choice between two boxes: one containing a picture of my face, and another covered with a picture of the rest of the peloton. Inside the box with my face on it, I placed several pieces of clam meat (Paul's favorite food), and inside the other box, I places a small pile of steel ball-bearings (Paul's other favorite food). Oracle paul was allowed to choose between the two boxes, and lo -- he chose the one with my face on it!

Things get started at the ripe (I'd even say past-ripe) hour of 8:30 pm with a 2-mile prologue. I shall win this, according to Oracle Paul, and my teammates will all pack inside the top ten. Huzzuh.

To see more in depth coverage, tune into Oregon Cycling Action.

Sweet! BMC Want's a "Fresh One!"

Looks like the list of teams who are eager to get a big'ole batch of whoop-ass courtesy of Sam Johnson and his band of Hagens Berman ruffians just keeps getting longer. The latest additions to the fray include George Hincapie and his BMC thugs. This is sweet, because I've never raced against Big George. I remember back in 2004, the year after he won the queen stage of the Tour, and spent a day or two in the Yellow Jersey, I had pictures of him up on on my wall, and used him as inspiration. I still considered myself a triathlete at the time, but by then I could at least see the appeal of this whole bicycle racing thing. I didn't consider myself a good climber, but I figured I'm tall like George Hincapie, and if George Hincapie can climb like that, then maybe I can too. Granted, this is back before I really knew much about how much blood doping improves your watts per kilogram at threshold (note: George Hincapie is the only racer who graced the wall of my college dorm who hasn't tested positive for performance enhancing drugs), but he's still an inspiration, and a legend of American cycling. It will be an honor to take to the same start line.

Who's the BOSS????

Who's the BOSS? I'm now the BOSS (or at least part of the BOSS). That's right, the BOSS Construction Ski-to-Sea team is going to do some serious damage this weekend. Do any of you realize how friggin' good my ski-to-sea team is? I didn't think so. Let's just put it this way:

Steve Fisher just put aerobars on his mountain bike. He is going to crush.

Ivan Babikov just got back from Vancouver. Where he competed. In the Olympics. I'm not saying there couldn't be a faster skier out there on Sunday, but since there are only four to choose from, it's not likely.

Spencer Walsh is busy polishing his new Whidby Island Marathon Overall Winner trophy.

Max Taam can climb to the top of a mountain in the snow, and then ski down that mountain, in about the same amount of time it takes you to squeeze into ski boots.

Eric Moll knows what he's doing here: he was the fastest kayaker at Ski-to-Sea in 2009.

When Bill Torongo and Steven Corlew paddle a canoe, they have to use the paddle equivalent of a 56-tooth chain ring.

And me. I have to make sure I pull my own weight on this team -- but it's a good thing I'm heavy: 45-mile downhill time trial? I can do downhill.

Last but not least, our fearless leader Tony Velasco. Tony is kind of like a mafia don: he can "make things happen," in a hurry if necessary. Never cross Tony.

Check out the team's website. Also -- all you other Ski-to-Sea teams -- you can consider this official "shit talk."