Saturday, May 31, 2008

THE GATES OF HELL HAVE BURST WIDE OPEN: DEMON COWS EVERYWHERE!!!

SEE FOR YOURSELF!!! THEY HAVE EVEN INFILTRATED THE SMALL HAMLET OF ENUMCLAW, WASHINGTON. Located in the center of town, and masquerading as a piece of public art, no less than TWO demon cows who are no doubt hell bent (if you'll excuse my use of the phrase) on stampeding their paths of destruction directly towards the utter destruction of the human race. Which makes no sense at all, and might not even be a complete sentence, but if you pause to reflect on my grammar (sloppy at best-- I know -- BUT DON'T REFLECT!!!), the demon cows will already have won. How, I don't know, but just look at their evil scowls--empty soulless eyes with a downcast gaze -- DOWNCAST TO HADES ITSELF!!!!!A mighty yoke joins the two evil beasts so that they might ravage the surface dwellers in unison.
A humanoid demon, also with empty soulless eyes brandishing some sort of harpoon-like weapon [with pieces of man-flesh adorning its tip, not unlike marshmallows on a roasting stick!!!!!!!!!] stands by the hell-cow's sides, urging them forward in search of human flesh.
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES PEOPLE, THE HELL-COW APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!!!

In other news I placed 7th in today's TT, despite whatever I said in that post down below. The person who wrote that was clearly misinformed by a deceitful president practicing a form of propaganda-based coercive democracy in what has been called by critics a "permanent campaign". I now realize that I was part of a massive attempt to obfuscate the truth from the American people, and for that I am deeply sorry -- or wait...maybe someone just misread the results as they were posted.

I didn't get in the top ten in the day's crit, but I'm happy to report that the road was dry. It was a very fun race, and I'm happy to report that Cooper LangE, who my readers should remember (right readers?) placed 3rd out of a wicked-fast field. Go Coopie!

Also, I found this unfortunate bike while preparing for my race. It belongs to a masters racer who got "up close and personal" with the pavement. I've never seen a saddle like this, but it looks uncomfortable:

1 comment:

eckstack said...

udder destruction of the human race. udddder.