THINGS THAT MAKE KROGG EXCITE FOR SEASON!

TOP FIVE THINGS KROGG EXCITED ABOUT FOR UPCOMING SEASON!!!!!!

Thing 2: Oops, Krogg actually mean thing 1. Krogg just experience "sponsor camp" with Team Exergy. Sponsor camp where all Exergy teammates gather to meet and greet all Exergy sponsors. Mostly Exergy thrilled with last year sponsors, and for most part, same sponsors return. However, some sponsor change, and Krogg very excited about new sponsor. Don't get Krogg wrong -- Krogg LOVE Hammer Nutrition for last six years -- but Krogg pretty darn excited Exergy partner with Clif for 2012 so Krogg can enjoy some new flavors in caveman mouth. COME TO KROGG, CARROT CAKE CLIF BAR!

Thing 1: Krogg know this out of order, but whatever. Sponsor camp also opportunity for Exergy teammates to form indestructible bond that will insure good cooperation and drama-free home-stay all year long. Best way to form indestructable bond? Wind tunnel testing, Exergy style: 

Team Exergy Wind Tunnel Testing from Team Exergy on Vimeo.

(Video come from one and only Stephen Fitzgerald. Good job Stephen -- you make good video!)

Thing 4: Now Krogg all confuse about number, but regardless, Krogg excited about new teammate! Krogg get introduce to all new teammate, and Krogg like every last one! All new teammate smart, sociable, and fun to hang out with. Once again, Exergy prove this team to be reckoned with when it come time to move bodies at night club, and new teammate no exception. 


Thing ???: Krogg give up about number. Krogg excited about training camp in ten day! Training camp right around corner, and Krogg starting to shake in caveman boots about how hard Training camp be. Oh boy -- Krogg hope he keep up! 




Krogg. Over and out. 

King Dazbog

Artist's rendering (with rigging). 

Artist's rendering.

I intend to bring a fully-grown dinosaur puppet to the life this year. I shall utilize similar techniques to those that made last year's giant squid project a success. The dinosaur will be roughly 25 feet tall, and 60 feet long. It will be highly animated, using a combination of puppetry and mechanically-driven movement. King Dazbog is a glowing, nighttime art piece. Imagine, if you will, gazing out across the nighttime horizon, scanning the horizon for the next thing to explore. Your eyes rest upon -- can this be real? -- a gigantic, fully-grown, green-glowing dinosaur! It lumbers fluidly and slowly across the landscape, and like a prehistoric moth to an ancient flame, you get on your bike and take off in hot pursuit. From a distance, the motion is shockingly realistic. Its shoulders rock up and down with every colossal step, it's tail swings back and forth in giant sweeping arcs, and its head peers about, raising up to browse the tops of trees, or dipping down low to investigate something on the ground. As you approach, you see the dinosaur is transparent -- it glows a ghostly green and blue, textured like a reptile. Its skeleton is clearly visible inside its body -- ribs, leg bones, and vertebrae running all up and down its spine, all moving in unison with the creature's body. Closer still, and you can make out the dinosaur's head and face -- its mouth opens and closes, its eyes glow a spooky red -- and best of all you can hear the beast. Each step is accompanied with a low-frequency boom that practically shakes the earth, and, just as you reach its tree-trunk legs, the beast unleashes a mighty roar.

"What...IS that?" you ask a fellow thunderstruck Playa-goer.

"That's Dazbog. King Dazbog." 

"Wow," you grunt, "all hail King Dazbog!" 

Artist's rendering.

Here's the scale model of King Dazbog's skeleton.

This is a reference photo of dinosaur anatomy. 

Some early concept sketches.

Details of the metal work. 

A still shot from the Sketchup model. This is to scale.

Another scale Sketchup still.

Buffalo!

Oh man. Today is a buffalo day. I'm thrilled my findings in the wide world of buffalo, and I simply must share. First off, prepare to be whisked away to the magical land of Guy on a Buffalo. It's a four part musical that make me want to laugh and cry and sing and dance (but mostly just laugh...my ass off!). Here is the entire series -- trust me, it's eight minutes of your life well spent:












Next, I found that the following sentence is actually recognized by the English language as grammatically valid: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

If you're like me, you'll probably need to go to the Wikipedia page about this sentence to help comprehend how the hell our language let this happen, but shit howdy -- LOOK AT THAT SENTENCE! It's so simple, so gorgeous! I'm considering starting a language called (you guessed it): Buffalo. The entire vocabulary shall consist of the words buffalo and Buffalo, and yet it will be capable of expressing the most complicated thoughts yet thunk by mankind. Who's with me?!

Giant Squid Project, Burning Man 2012

Here are a collection of photos and videos of the giant squid puppet I made in 2012. I was inspired to create the cephalopod in the spring of 2012, and had a working version ready by Esthetic Evolution at the end of June. Field testing the squid at Esthetic was very helpful -- I was able to refine the design and improve the materials.

Here's some photos:

The Squid's maiden voyage at Esthetic Evolution

Another Esthetic Evolution shot

The Squid at Opulent Temple 

The Squid with Idaho's CORE project and The Man in the background.

Another shot a the Burn

The Squid attacking a large boat at the Burn.

I made several hundred squid necklaces and gave them away as gifts on the Playa. 

Here's a video of the squid making its way right to the front of the Opulent Temple:





Here's a video of the squid at Esthetic Evolution, a small festival outside Boise, Idaho:

IT BEGINS, THE CAMP OF SPONSORS!

SPONSOR CAMP IS UPON US!

It's time to meet some new team mates, greet some new sponsors, and have a jolly good time. This week is supposedly packed so full we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom outside the three designated "bodily function" breaks in our schedules. I'm kidding -- there should be plenty of time for Foosball and fun.


In honor of sponsor camp, I present:

Silly People Dancing to Yelle

First off, the classic.




Aaaant then there's this guy, who is obviously trying way way WAY too hard, but I have to give him some credit. He danced all over the world. Dance John Makovich! Dance!

Insomnia Has Its Perks...

Krogg no sleep good last night. Up at three forty five AM like some kind of goddam farm animal. No fall back asleep! At first Krogg mad! Why you no sleep Krogg? Then Krogg decide to be productive and make scone. Scone look tasty, but Krogg have no time to eat -- time to get to work! Krogg pack scone in insulated tote bag, and haul to work for co-workers to enjoy. See? Insomnia has perk! 

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Things I've noticed: 

IT SNOWED AND THEN THE SNOW MELTED ALMOST AS FAST AS IT SNOWED!!!

Indeed, the snow started falling some time Wednesday morning and it fell steadily for hours without pause until there was several inches of the stuff covering this fine little town called Boise, which made my morning commute slow and treacherous, a leisurely mountain bike ride through snow really, something I don't often get to enjoy (but honestly I didn't so much enjoy my commute as I did chuckle at my situation, amused, not unlike the man behind the counter at Napa Auto Parts who sold me zipties so I could transform my mountain bike into a snowmobile), yes a leisurely white-knuckled commute, one that got me to work an hour late, but with safety and warmth and even comfort, the latter two of which are precisely the opposite of how I'd describe my return voyage, which wasn't through deep snow so much as it was through six-inches of slush and through pouring rain, the temperature obviously having risen just enough to change the mode of precipitation but not the amount, yes my return voyage oh-so miserable, like really fucking so, my pants soaked beyond belief almost immediately after leaving the shop, my face liberally spattered with a mixture of slush, road salt, and car grime which tasted like cold salty car grime (I know because I got a lot of it in my mouth despite my best efforts to spit it out), a miserable white-knuckled commute, the worst, the only thing keeping my mood from completely careening into a canyon of negativity the realization that the fucking rain would melt the fucking snow and the roads would clear and I would soon be able to ride my bike outside again. 

My bike as a snowmobile.

My wet pants from my commute home. 

I WATCHED AN AMAZING CONCERT LAST MINUTE!!

Have you ever been sitting around wondering what to do with yourself on a Wednesday night, and had a friend txt you with an offer to go to a concert? Well I have. Just this week. And let me tell you -- it was swell. It was a day of cosmic collisions in Boise, because not only were we hit with our first major storm of the year, but these three excellent and unique bands were all passing through town, and all got booked at the Egyptian. Thanks to my friend Judi, I got to see:

Diego's Umbrella: a super-sexy-sixsome slinging gypsy-pirate-sounding splendor. 

Kings of Vibration

The Pimps of Joytime (possibly the best band name ever): the funkiest funksters ever, laying down some ridiculously fun "janxter funk."


Bonita
March Fourth Marching Band: these guys were totally unreal! Dressed like a marching band from hell (and sounding like one too), the March Fourth Marching Band mixes a little burlesque, with a little big-top, and a whole lot of marching band. Picture dancers on stilts (doing some of the most impressive and dangerous stilt acrobatics I've ever seen), baton twirlers (who clearly should have been spinning fire), and about twenty five rowdy musicians on stage. Trust me, this band must be experienced to be enjoyed -- the energy they bring is like whoa!

Dynomite

I'm not sure you can appreciate what's going on here, but trust me: madness. 

I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO FRICKIN' JURY DUTY???

I guess this is kind of a milestone for me, because I don't recall ever being "summoned" for anything in my life, but goddamit, really? And smack dab in the middle of training camp no less! Wish me luck in trying to postpone it. 

Two Things

First off, you should visit Wikipedia today. Search for something. Anything. You'll see that the whole English version of Wikipedia is being blacked-out in response to the SOPA act currently before Congress. The SOPA act is a piece of legislation that could have potentially far-reaching consequences regarding how the whole internet functions, so if you like the internet the way it is (extremely free, extremely awesome), consider writing to your congressperson and telling them so.

Next up, you should go to Underwater Sculptures and see some of the really cool artwork made by UK artist Jason deCaires Taylor. His work is a win-win-win: he is calling attention to the devastation wrought upon coral reefs by careless tourists, while simultaneously providing an awesome alternative for those tourists to explore AND giving animals a great new habitat. Oh and the sculptures themeslves are gorgeous, especially after the sea has had a chance to work its magic on them for a while. Here's a slice:

Is This Cool?

So I'm going to try something new here. It's a game called "Is This Cool?" It goes like this: I post something on my blog, and you tell me if it's cool or not. As you may or may not know, Google Images has a feature where you can paste an image into the search bar, and it will find images similar to the one you pasted. Well what if you did that, but then fed the top result back into the search bar? And then fed the result of that search back into search bar? And then repeated the process 3,000 times? Well that's what somebody did, and then compiled the results into the following video. It's kind of like watching a Google try to piece together the history of the universe, using only the images on the internet as a guide. So you tell me: Is This Cool?


Search by Image, Recursively, Transparent PNG, #1 from kingcosmonaut3000 on Vimeo.

Hitting the Mark

It's Saturday. It's mid-January. It's sunny and cold in Boise, but apparently there's a huge nasty storm on its way here as we speak. It's going to blanket the region in snow, and put an end to this delightfully dry winter we've been having. Good for the skiers. Bad for me. I've logged my fair share of trainer miles, but mark my words: if it's possibly to ride a bike outdoors, I will ride outdoors. So bring it on Boise storm -- I'm ready.

However, in preparation, I've thrown together some stuff for you to do, in case the power is down for days. 

THING 1: READ HARRISON'S BLOG

My friend Harrison Berry is a wordsmith extraordinaire. He can use words like "crestfallen" without batting an eyelash. He can be sarcastic, witty, and hilarious -- and often all three at the same time. Read his account of discovering that his favorite burger joint has *gasp* raised its prices dramatically since his gold leaf coated youth. 

THING 2: SEE HOW TINY WE ARE (AGAIN)

I know I just posted some similar videos, but I can't stress this enough: THE UNIVERSE IS CRAZY! You can fit 1,000,000 planet earths inside our sun, and you can fit a staggering 1,000,000,000 suns inside the giant monster shown in this video: 

THING 3: CELEBRATE MY NEW JOB AT TRADEMARK SIGN COMPANY
It's true, I started working/interning at one of Boise's most reputable design companies last week. I'm just learning the ropes for now, but gosh is it cool. Here's a little about Trademark (and please note: this isn't official a Trademark Sign Company description - the company is in the process of redoing their website, and I wrote this as a potential contribution):

Trademark Sign Company is where passion for design excellence is paired with vast technical expertise. We design and construct our work under the same roof. By taking responsibility for every step of the process, from concept to completion, we are able to bring our visions to life with exacting clarity, while keeping things affordable and efficient. We can design and deliver the signs or environmental features your business needs to stand out, and do so with the style and quality you've come to expect from Trademark. 

THING 4: GET READY FOR THE FORT!!!!

The TreeFort Music Fest is coming to Boise! This is going to be the biggest music event to hit the Treasure Valley all year. My good friend Drew is instrumental in the production of this festival, and I'm thrilled to see it off to such a good start. It is conveniently timed to be right after the South By Southwest music festival in Austin, Texas. A good chunk of the SXSW bands will make the trek up to Idaho and perform for us in the lovely city of trees. Check it out, and buy your tickets now. 

Whirlwind

My whirlwind trip up the coast was downright awesome. I have a few thank-you's to fire off, so let's get to it:

• First off, I'd like to thank my truck. It wanted to die on me about an hour before I got to Portland. The engine stopped purring like a kitten, and started purring like a dying kitten with fluid in its lungs instead. My top speed for that last hour (which became two hours): ~45 miles per hour. Considering the pouring rain, and heavy traffic, breaking down by the side of the highway would have been pretty miserable, so I'm thrilled that my old truck "dug deep into the suitcase of courage," to quote Phil Liggett, and limped to my destination. Then, above all odds, it carried me and my stuff up to Seattle, and then back to Boise without complaint. Thank you truck. 
• Next I'd like to thank my friends Sara, Ari, Ana, and Dan for hosting me in Portland. You guys threw the best tapas party I've ever been to! Those plantain empanadas were totally righteous (in the surfer way, not the religious way). 
• To the man who runs the mechanic shop near where Ana and Dan live....THANK YOU FOR FIXING MY TRUCK! When I brought it to you it drove like absolute dog shit. Two hours later, it left your shop purring like a goddam lion! You easily could have gouged me, or swindled me, or simply offered to buy my truck for the price of a bus ticket back to Boise -- but instead you fixed the problem, and charged me a very reasonable amount. If you live in Portland, go here: Woodstock Shell Auto Repair. 
• Thanks to Mustafa, the elderly Turkish gentleman who challenged me to a chess game while I was waiting for my truck to be repaired. You won both games (albeit narrowly), and suggested that I "think positive" about my truck. I did just that, and things turned out well. There is no doubt in my mind that you played a roll in my truck's easy fix. 
• To the people I went dancing with on New Years in Seattle, thank you for kicking my butt like that. I was all ready to go home at 2:30 when our first party started to slow down, but nooooo...ONWARD! TO ANOTHER PARTY!!! I haven't literally danced until dawn in *ahem* quite a while. What a wild night. Thanks. 
• To all the people who took time out of their schedules to see me in Seattle, thank you for doing so. While I'm happy to be in Boise, you all certainly did a good job of reminding me of how fond I am of Seattle, and how many amazing friends I still have there. Thanks for all the food, the conversations, and the company.
• To the roads, traffic, and weather of Seattle, Washington: thank you for confirming that my decision to move to Boise was indeed a good idea. Compared to Boise, riding through Seattle is more like bush-whacking through a jungle at 20 miles per hours. I forgot how quick your reflexes must be to avoid collisions and/or obstacles. So much more turning! So much many more potholes! So much more traffic! So much more rain! My first ride in Seattle was on New Year's Day, when I'd had far less sleep than I normally do, and let's just say I was thrilled to make it back to the house with only a broken buckle on my shoe -- in my state, it could have been much worse. 
• Thanks to Jamie, Lina and Matt for letting me invade your home like that. 
• Special thanks to Lina for getting me tea, making me soup, and constantly refilling my cup with Nuun while I was laid up, sick as a dog, at your house. I was struck down with the worst stomach flu I've had since my days on the Magic School Bus in Mexico. Holy shit. Picture me: weak, sweaty, and nauseous, curled up like a fetus on my air mattress. If it weren't for Lina's care...I would have perished for sure (or at least been much more dehydrated). 
• To Jamie Stangeland -- I perhaps owe you the biggest thanks of all. Not only did you introduce me to possibly the best animated television series known to man, and not only did you mercilessly pummel me into a pulp on our training rides together (like wow), and not only did you (on countless occasions) prepare me some damn tasty food/beverage -- but you let me stay at your beautiful house for a whole week! Thanks my friend. I had a marvelous time in Seattle...thanks largely to you. 

HOKEY SMOKES BULLWINKLE -- WE'RE LATE!

Gosh oh gosh oh gosh. Have you ever heard the phrase: time flies when you're having fun? Well that's usually true, and my past two weeks are perfect examples of this phenomenon. What you haven't heard is this: blogs lie fallow when you're having fun. I just made that up, and I agree it isn't very catchy (because it isn't always true), but once again, I shall point out that THIS IS MY BLOG AND MY BLOG MY RULES -- so my rule stands. For now. Anyway, I took myself on a little truck-based adventure throughout the Pacific Northwest, and wow, what a doosie of a time! Portland and Seattle are marvelous places, but I simply couldn't be bothered to blog about it while I was out there. Plus I found the idea of a trip in which I didn't once crack open my laptop rather appealing. However, that does leave me in a little bit of a blog hole to dig myself out of, so without further ado, I present the top five youtube videos...of...the...um....afternoon!


Cutest Video (it's almost too cute...like grossly cute...puke):


Best Red-Headed Singer:


Best Sounds Issued From a Man With A Mullett:


Biggest Numb-Nuts (possibly ever):



Best Rube-Goldberg (points for the use of rodent):