Colorado Comes Near

The biggest race of the season is a mere ten days away, and we're generating more buzz than a hive of bees. Check it out: 

First up, we've announced our roster, and added a new rider to the squad. Enter climbing sensation Sebastian Salas. Sebastian is hot as a pistol this season, with great rides at Mt. Hood, Tour de Beauce, and the Cascade Classic, and he'll be joining us at the US Pro Cycling Challenge. Read the press release here. Sebastian is somehow both Colombian and Canadian -- a combination that, until recently, I refused to believe existed. In fact, I'm not sure I fully accept that Sebastian is real, and not a mythical beast, like a centaur or a cockatrice. I can't wait to spend some time in this presence of this rare creature -- and to see him soar up the Colorado Rockies in person! Here's a photo of Sebastian recklessly pilfered from his facebook page (which was itself recklessly pilfered from the website CanadianCyclist.com). 

Next up, the folks over at Manual for Speed have been busy cranking out more goodies. This time, a short video entitled: Driveway Time Trial. This clip was recognized for its brilliance, and promptly ridiculed, by none other than the Sultan of Snark himself, the BikeSnobNYC. See Manual for Speed? You've made it! 

Last up, I can't spill all the beans, but let me just say that I spent my day helping two Exergy engineers prepare a giant surprise for the US Pro Cycling Challenge. Let's just leave it at this: Exergy has some very smart engineers, and if you're in one of the host cities, be SURE to check out the expo -- the Exergy booth shouldn't be hard to miss. 

OMG 10 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!! 

The Compex

These videos are a little old (I took them when I was preparing for US Pro), but just stumbled across them on my phone and realized they were too good not to share. I took a few videos of my first test drive of the team's new Compex muscle simulator. They're funny, and like most things on my blog, funny at my expense (especially the part where I scream like a little girl). Enjoy!

*note: if you're reading this on facebook, you'll have to "view original post" to see the videos. 

A Great Many Things

TOWN CRIER: People come and gather round! I have news from far and news from wide.  

Firstly, I have committed a crime against nature. My shame has kept me silent thus, but mine conscience can bear it no longer: I must admit! I HAVE KILLED A SNAKE. 'Twas horrible indeed -- an accident for sure, but accident or not, I am to blame. I was descending Mount Bogus on my two-wheeled steed, carving from turn to turn with the same carefree had by a dolphin cavorting in the waves. A moment to take in the view -- spectacular indeed -- but a moment was all it took. When my gaze returned to the road, there he lay, my reptilian friend, elongated before me, absorbing the infrared radiation so plentifully emitted from the tarmac below. No time to react, to swerve, to hop -- only time to recognize: he was alive. Mine tires done crushed his middle, and I done left him to writhe and wriggle in agony. Woe -- oh woe that I were not able to swerve! Woe that I took my eyes from the road too long! CURSE ME AND MY TIRES! CURSE ME AND MY BLIND, ARROGANT, INATTENTIVE WAYS! I've tried to save snakes from similar fates. Why not this one? 

Secondly, I've been GETTING HIGH!!! EVERY NIGHT!! That's right, I'm sleeping in an altitude tent. If there's one thing the USA Pro Cycling Challenge has got, it's altitude. Like 12,000 feet above sea level. Take Stage 2 for example: we start in Gunnison, a mere 7,700 feet above sea level. Then we climb for almost fifty miles, cresting Cottonwood Pass at 12,100 feet. Then we descend for 30 miles, and do the whole thing over again, this time over Independence Pass, before finishing in Aspen. I'm not kidding myself into thinking that sleeping in a giant tent with lower O2 levels is going to turn me into superman, but it's worth a shot, right? 

Giant tent!

It's like I'm CAMPING!!!

Giant machine that goes "whiiiiiiiirrrrr."

Thirdly, Krogg has a story to tell. Go for it Krogg

KROGG SMASH IDAHO STATE ROAD RACE CHAMPIONSHIPS! Race hot! Race hilly! Race good for Krogg! Krogg go up road, and win solo! SMASH! Krogg knew race would be hard. Krogg look at start list, and not see many names. Bunches of Bob's guys and few others. Bobs guys know how to use tactics against Krogg. Oh, plus masters field race with 1/2's (even though scored separate) -- watch out for masters field! Richard Feldman master, and Richard Feldman always go hard! Who Richard Feldman you might ask? Well Krogg explain: Richard Feldman very fast cyclocross racer with countless masters championships, and suspiciously well-maintained Wikipedia page (results from YESTERDAY already updated??!). Richard Feldman prefer simple tactics. Krogg approve. Richard Feldman tactics go like this:

Step 1: Go hard. 

Step 2: Repeat step 1 until finish line. 

This work very well for masters field in Idaho (as Wikipedia page clearly say, Richard Feldman WIN Idaho State Road Race Championships), but not so good on KROGG! Over years, Krogg learn to be crafty caveman. Krogg wait! Krogg utilize top-secret bicycle racing strategy called drafting. Then, after first hour and a half of letting Richard Feldman go hard -- KROGG POUNCE! KROGG GO HARDER! Krogg go up road, and work with one of the Bob's guys, then KROGG WIN! Now Krogg Idaho State Road Race Champion! YIPPIE!  

This is How You Weigh a Giraffe

Thanks Gizmodo.

Hydrogen Filled Airships

You know what blows my mind? When humans spend exorbitant amounts of time and energy perusing terrible ideas. Case in point: hydrogen filled airships. Everybody knows about the Hindenburg disaster, where one of the largest rigid-framed zeppelins ever built blew up in spectacular fashion in 1937.

KABOOM!

It was this gargantuan disaster that finally tipped the scale of public perception towards believing hydrogen filled airships were a bad idea. That I understand. What blows my mind is that despite countless prior examples of why the idea is flawed, there were thirty years of steady progress towards building bigger and better flying bags of hydrogen gas! Good lord people! Common sense! I've got an experiment for you: start with a child, one just barely old enough to recognize that some ideas are inherently dangerous (let's say a six year old). Then fill a party balloon with hydrogen gas, attach it to a string and hand it to the child. Finally, hold a lighter to the balloon until the gas ignites. Now ask this slightly scorched, terrified six year old if he or she thinks it's a good idea to build REALLY REALLY BIG balloons filled with the same gas and fly around in them. The kid would say no. I was reading about the history of airships today, and while there were some marvelous triumphs -- crossing oceans in a third the time of an ocean liner in superb luxury, hauling tons upon tons of cargo into the air, circumnavigating the globe -- the history of airships is absolutely littered with horrible accidents. Most of the big airships that saw real use met a fiery, high-impact end. And yet the idea persisted. "We can get around the safety issues," they said, "airships are the future!"

Airships might be the future, but not hydrogen ones.

Four Summits Challenge

Well today was something new, and I like new things. Today, I participated in the Four Summits Challenge. This was a supported group ride through the beautiful mountains outside Cascade, Idaho. Gorgeous roads: smooth as ice, freshly repaved after being damaged in forest fire, filled with sexy switchbacks. Gorgeous scenery: meadows that sprawl into forests. forests pierced with jagged slabs of granite. lakes mirror the ashen sky. grove upon grove of blackened poles that used to be trees stand over a carpet of luscious green regrowth. crumbling spires like the gates of Mordor, and a thin ribbon of black tarmac laced between them.

At the end, waiting for us upon our return: BBQ ribs. And bacon rice.
 HUZZUH!

Well SHIT HOWDY!!!

Well well well, it looks like that little party down in Colorado we're doing is blowing up bigger than Congress' phone lines. The Schleck brothers were just the tip of the iceberg! None other than the head honcho himself, reigning tour champ Cadel Evans is going to grace the Colorado Rockies with his presence. Not only that, there are rumors, (and so far only rumors) that KING CONTADOR will be there. I mean -- come on! How much more hype can you get. All we need now is for Lance to re-come out of retirement (again), and announce that he's buried the hatched with Greg Lemond, and that the two of them will be contesting the race on a composite team alongside Eddie Merck and Alexi Grewal. It's just a bike race. And they're just bike racers. Fast bike racers.