I am a DEFENDER OF ANIMALS WILD!
Whenever a helpless snake or a helpless badger wanders into danger's path, I will be there to save it! Look! A BADGER! ON THE LOOSE! IN DOWNTOWN BOISE!
And thus the people stopped. And thus the adorable badger was saved from certain death.
The badger then ran off towards the farmers market. Maybe that's where he lived. I don't know.
THEN I SAW A SNAKE! ON THE LOOSE! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!
So, with my animal-saving instincts on high alert from my earlier encounter with the badger, I did what I do best: SAVED THAT ANIMAL FROM CERTAIN DEATH!
And that was how I saved an adorable snake from CERTAIN DEATH!
GLIDERBISON SAVES ANIMALS!!!!