Tuesday, April 28, 2009

CORRECTION: LANCE ARMSTRONG ACTUALLY POLAR OPPOSITE OF SISSY

Well put me in a dress and call me Susan -- it looks like I was wrong. Lance Armstrong decided he is going to race the Tour of the Gila after all. Now don't I look silly for taunting the man. The chances that Lance is a regular down here at GliderBison.Blogspot.com are slim, so it's unlikely that he caught wind of my taunt, but just in case, I'd better apologize publicly:

Dear Lance,
I'm sorry that I called you a sissy. You are not actually a sissy, but in fact, the polar opposite of a sissy. Also, I doubt you're afraid of me (and if you are, it's not because of how I pedal a bike). I'm sorry that I made up all that stuff in my last post -- I was only kidding. To be honest, I'm slightly afraid of you; you're not a good guy to piss off, and I know that.

Honestly, I'm also reallyexcited to be in the same race as you; this is something I never thought would happen, so it's kind of hard to believe. In many ways you're the reason I'm here; if you hadn't won the Tour de France seven times, I doubt I would have found bicycle racing in college, devoted my life to cycling, or had dreams about *ahem* kicking your ass in a time trial and dropping you on all the hills (I have crazy dreams, I know!). Anyway, I hope there are no hard feelings, and that you and your Astana guys -- I mean Mellow Johnny's guys take it easy on me.


Sincerely,
GliderBison

P.S. we have a pretty sweet home stay, so if you want to come over for dinner, we'll totally cook you and Levi pasta. Not Horner though -- I've seen that guy eat -- no manners at all with that guy.

4 comments:

Tad said...

wa-wa-wee-wa!

Tad said...

Go get 'em, Sammy!

Abby said...

You can totally take him.

Jamie Stangeland said...

Thor beat him in the TT at Tour of CA, I expect the same from Krogg.