Thursday, April 2, 2009

A Tale Of Two (Penetratingly Cold) Races: Part 2

OH YEAH -- KROG FORGET TO TELL YOU!!! KROGG WIN RACE!!@!

On one very very cold Sunday morning, Krogg drive out to Carnation to race in Carnation Time Trial #1. Krogg slightly nervous about racing in more bitter cold and pelting rain after previous day's race, but nevertheless, Krogg excited -- besides, after bad luck flat tire remove Krogg from race he could have won, Krogg have bone to pick.

First funny:

Krogg arrive slightly late, and pull car into first available spot (in middle of soggy, grassy field). While Krogg pulling car to stop, Krogg notice car drifted a little in mud -- but no time to worry -- Krog LATE! Krogg get to registration and see that race delayed for one hour to give road chance to thaw. Phew! Krogg return to car much less panicked, and begin trying to move car. Car stuck in mud. Car no move. Uh-oh. Other racers in parking lot hear Krogg's car straining to dislodge from mud, and come to help. Krogg throw car in reverse and, while several kind strangers push front bumper, stomp on pedal. Car start to move! As car begin creeping out of muddy field, helpful strangers start to shout things: "GAAAAAAAAA". Once car free, Krogg look back at helpful strangers and see what Krogg did; Krogg driving front-wheel drive car, which shot mud at helpful strangers (who were standing directly in front of the rapidly spinning front wheels), covering them from head to toe in sticky brown mud. Oops. Krogg know that not everyone appreciate good mud bath as much as caveman do. Krogg very sorry, and very grateful, especially to one gentleman who got absolutely plastered.

Second funny:

Krogg move car and prepare for race. Once Krogg fully dressed and ready to start warm up, perhaps 45 minutes before start time, Krogg try to place front wheel on bicycle. Uh oh. Front wheel no fit -- break look bent. Krogg experience uneasy sensation in pit of stomach as Krogg
remember how previous night, as Krogg pulled out of driveway with bike on roof-rack, nearby tree snag bike and flip it over side of car, smashing front end of bike on side of car (silly caveman forget to fasten rear-wheel holder on bike rack!). Krogg look over bike and think nothing wrong. This inaccurate assessment. Krogg need new front break!!! Krogg fortunately have second bike and proper tools to perform minor bicycle surgery in car, so Krogg cut cables, and Krogg loosen bolts, and Krogg swap front break calipers. Despite rapidly ticking start clock, Krogg operate with calm and precision usually seen by Jedi knights. Krogg tighten everything up, say small prayer, and commence warm up.

Third Funny:
Krogg wear more clothes than he ever though needed for time trial. Notice ski gloves in picture.
Krogg go out there and win race! KROGG SWING BATTLE AXE AGAIN!@!!.

1 comment:

colin said...

now that's fetch.