I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU, TOUR OF UTAH!!!!OK listen up Tour of Utah -- I know you're supposed to be this scary big deal -- "America's toughest stage race" - -and all that bullshit, but I'm just telling you now: I'm not afraid of you. I'm going to put the hurt on all those badass guys who think they're here to win. Fuck that. I'm here to win the Tour of Utah. That's right, you heard it here first on the Glider Bison blog -- SAM JOHNSON WILL WIN THE TOUR OF UTAH!!!!!
Then I decided to take that post down -- I can't exactly explain why. Perhaps I didn't want people to perceive me as being cocky, or of overestimating my abilities. Perhaps I didn't want people to know that I'm secretly a powerful median (which I am). Perhaps I got cold feet and decided NOT to win the Tour of Utah after all -- I mean, winning is so overrated in this sport. Whatever the case -- I WAS WRONG TO DO SO!!!!
Well with today's stage one in the bag, let me tell you -- things are going exactly to plan. I spent a lot of the day "dangling" in no man's land. I got credit for doing so too. Once the group pulled us back, I suffered greatly for the rest of the race. I got dropped on the final "climb" (a 2-3 mile mild incline of perhaps 3%), and came in minutes behind the leaders, but that's ok -- it's all part of the plan.
I WILL WIN THE TOUR OF UTAH!!!! VICTORY WILL BE MINE!!!!
3 comments:
Sam, you're FAMOUS! How was no man's land?
No man's land was awesome. It made me suffer for the rest of the race unless I was coasting.
Nice Reference.
Post a Comment