A White Elephant in the Room

I'm a big fan of white elephant parties -- where else can you purposefully steal someone else's gift without any social consequences? Last night I had the privilege of attending a fine one: hot buttered rum, tacky Christmas sweaters, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, and quality gifts across the board.

I showed up with what I thought was an especially fine offering. First off, I must call attention to the packaging I used. My mother, ever so crafty (especially around the holidays), made these nice reusable gift bags to wrap presents in. They're festive, and keep paper our of the landfill. See?

What treasures lie within? 

My gift was this: a potato gun, and a bandoleer of ammunition. It was a successful gift (it was stolen once), but I didn't really think through the fact that whoever received this gift would undoubtedly use it right away, thus littering my friend's apartment with tiny little potato pellets (many of which were never found -- sorry Drew).

As for me, I made out like a bandit! I got this awesomely decorated turtle! It's gold, and has lots and lots of glitter, and has a painted shell. Once I got home, I cleared my coffee table off and let it walk around -- stretch its legs, you know? I'm still searching for a name for this turtle. So far, options include: Prospero, Chrestomanci, Mendanbar, and Telemain (yes, these names are all wizards or magicians). Behold: MY WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT!!!