Sunday, August 17, 2008

It Ain't Easy Being AWESOME!!!!

Wow. All I can say is wow. I never thought I'd see the day. If you've been reading cyclingnews or velonews, you'll know by now that yesterday I won the queen stage of the Tour of Utah. I caught up to Lance Armstrong about one kilometer from the finish, and put in a strong finishing surge to take the win (and even put more time into him). My favorite part of the day was where I gave Armstrong a taste of his own medicine! My teammates also had good rides yesterday, and we now control all five of the various leader's jerseys by commanding margins. I'll start today's 7 mile time trial with an "unassailable" lead over my competition. I know that all I'll have to do to win the overall GC is finish the race, but not unlike my hero Eddy "the cannibal" Merckx, I don't just want to beat my competition -- I want to utterly crush their souls. If I don't pass Lance in the TT, I'm calling my ride a failure.

For some reason, people keep questioning my results. Apparently, there have been some inconsistencies in the cycling media's coverage of the race. I don't know who is responsible for these vicious lies, but let me put your worried little heads to rest -- I AM winning the Tour of Utah, and anyone who says different is a liar. Glider Bison Blog: your only source for what's REALLY going on.

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