Thursday, August 7, 2008


To: Barack Obama (
BCC: John McCain (
Date: Thursday, August 7, 2008
Subject: Salt.

Dear Future President of the United States,

I'm writing to express my extreme dissatisfaction with the current status of the Pacific Ocean. It's FAR too salty. As a New Mexican, I'm new to the oceans in general, but I'm especially new to body surfing. While I find the practice enjoyable for the most part, there's a steep learning curve, and the salt content of the oceans almost ruined my first body surfing experience. When I misjudged a wave this afternoon I found myself tumbling around like a rag-doll in a washing machine. If the sand in my speedo wasn't enough, nasty salty water went up my nose and down my throat. It was awful! Would you please consider removing the salt from the ocean so that it doesn't sting as much when a wave pile-drives me into the ground face first. I would gladly vote for any man who replaced ocean water with purified spring water. Or Sunny Delight -- that would be rad!

Sam Johnson


Baum said...

awww suck it up sam, salt is good for the skin. How big was the surf anyways? Enjoy!

Christopher Walken said...

Racin hard, eh?