A Rare Species of Mullethawk

Here's a recent facebook interaction I had:

Duncan: For various reasons including zero good ones, the rare species of the mullethawk has arrived at Whitman and appears to be contagious- I myself recently came down with what looks like a lasting infection. I urge you to be strong.

GliderBison: EGAD NO!!! Duncan, not you too?!?! My condolences to be sure. You have almost certainly caught a strain of Euro-Trashitis -- a rare but dangerous affliction. Hopefully your case won't lead to complications such as "Fu-Manchosis" commonly known as "furry upside-down horseshoe on your face" syndrome. My advice would be to avoid attending techno-pop concerts (you didn't go to the Blue Moon Release Party, did you? I heard that was just crawling with dance-jams???), tektonic dancing, or prolonged exposure to tight pants, gold spandex, or aviator sunglasses. Best of luck.

You have been warned.