Wednesday, March 9, 2011

How Many Zombies.....

Quiz of the day.

1: How many zombies could you fight off at once with your bare hands? (Note: non-integer answers are acceptable. For instance: little Sally can only fight off .03 zombies with her bare hands, where as Luke can fight off .5 zombies.)

2: How many angry hamsters could you fight off at once with your bare hands? (Note: non-integer answers, while acceptable, are completely ridiculous, you wimp.)

3: How many angry zombified hamsters could you fight at once off with your bare hands? (Note: it could happen! See: Dead Alive -- OK FINE, IT WAS A RAT MONKEY, BUT WHATEVER -- ZOMBIFIED HAMSTERS WOULD BE SCARY TOO!)

4: How fast can you run?

5: How fast can you run when being chased by zombies?

6: Was you answer for question 5 equal to or faster than your answer for question 4?

If NO, please answer question 6A through 6D. If YES, please skip to question 7.

     6A: Are you a zombie?

     6B: Are you suicidal?

     6C: Are you an asshole-friend/medium-hot girl/good-hearted-idiot/selfish-prick?

     6D: Do you run faster trying to catch the ice cream truck than you do avoiding zombies?

Regardless, don't continue this quiz -- you're a gonner.

7: How good are you at shooting things? (Note: video game experience does not count.)

8: How quickly can you weld together barriers/vehicle armor/giant booby-traps?

9: Do you really want to survive the zombie apocalypse?

10: No -- like think about it -- have you ever hacked your good friend to pieces simply because he caught a little bit of zombie blood in his eye? I mean he might become a zombie...but he might not...

11: That was a trick question -- your good friend WILL become a zombie no matter what, so grab that pair of garden shears (or samurai sword, or broken pool cue, or whatever's handy), and start hacking!

12: Do you trust cats?

13: You should -- cats can smell zombies a mile away.

14: You're getting bored of writing this quiz, huh?

15: Yeah.

Tally your score and then multiply it by the number of zombies you can fight off at once with your bare hands. Play the number you get in next month's Lotto.
You're welcome.

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