Airport Evacuation Procedure for Dummies...

Have you ever been stuck in an airport* and had the lights start strobing and the buzzer start buzzing and the calm-voiced woman over the loud speaker starts instructing you to head towards your nearest exit, but you don't really feel like going outside? Well just sight tight buckaroo -- it's most likely a false alarm. Just hold your ground. Calmly wave at the flight crews as they walk down the stairs. They're just suckers. Don't flinch as the other passengers pour out into the cold, where they will shiver (like suckers). There's no smoke in the air -- you know better. Call the bluff of the airport emergency alert system, and wait, right where you are, without moving a muscle (except for your rapidly typing fingers). Before long, another calm voice, but this time clearly not a recording, will be coming on soon, to inform you and the rest of the airport that it was just a false alarm, and that you shouldn't evacuate.

Any second now.

Any second...

In just a second or two that voice will be coming over the loud speaker and telling you that you should return to the building.

At least you hope that's what will happen.




*for 8 hours straight