The Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg

The time has come.

You all remember Chris Hong. He's one of the most recognizable riders in the north american peloton. I first mentioned Chris in my Top Five Mutant Bodies of the Tour of the Glia, where he took the title of "most minuet male." He then reappeared last year during the Elkhorn Classic, where he climbed up that final climb with the wings of an angel (leapfrogging from 16th to 1st in the GC). Well now we're teammates, and oh how I'm excited for the year ahead. I'm going to start what I hope to be a multi-part series entitled The Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg.

Naturally, I'll let Krogg do the honors. Take it away Krogg:

The Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg

Episode 1: Sponsor Camp

Story begin when Krogg and Hong go to Sponsor Camp. This kind of like summer camp, mixed with job training, mixed with Christmas. Krogg and Hong do many fun things at sponsor camp: race go-karts (which neither of us do particularly well), play lots of foosball (which neither of us do particularly well), eat yummy food (which we both do exceedingly well), and whole team go out on town (which Krogg do much better than Hong, but in terms of beers per pound, Hong have slight advantage). Krogg and Hong also do lots to prepare for season: meetings with staff, photo-shoots, and many many sponsor presentations to learn about cool new sponsors. During sponsor presentations, Krogg and Hong take notes about different sponsors. Hong just graduate from Harvard University. Hong study pre-med. Hong accepted to medical school. Here Hong's notes: 

Pretty good notes. 
On other side of spectrum, Krogg graduate from Whitman. Krogg study art. Here Krogg's notes:

Also pretty good notes. 
Despite differences in style, Krogg and Hong now very well prepared to represent sponsors throughout season. Ask Krogg question about PowerCordz for instance -- Krogg know answer! 
Krogg and Hong also receive all kinds of new gear, including new clothing. Mighty mastodons -- new kits look amazing!! Here Krogg and Hong pose with new kits: 

Krogg and Hong have many daydreams about upcoming season. So much support, so much racing, such high hopes and expectations. Krogg have much much more exciting news to share, but Sponsor Camp still going full swing, so stories must wait. Tonight: big party at the Exergy corporate headquarters. Krogg and Hong plan on getting dressed up like fancy cavemen -- long pants, button down shirts, shoes -- the works! This pretty rare occurrence for Krogg and Hong, so wish us luck. 

Updates From Sponsor Camp

First off: the vehicles. Check out the awesome decal job on the trailer.

 Also, we have one of the few new 5-door Mini's in the country, and it looks amazing. I was astonished: the thing is downright roomy inside! Even in the back seats!

I'm a big fan of the new Mini ad (featuring our car, the new Countryman). Our assistant director Scott Cross claims the driving in this commercial is "pretty tame" compared to what's he's done in the caravan.

Next: the gear!
Remember those boxes you saw earlier? Well today we got to open those boxes.

New gear makes everyone happy. Ben:

Quinn: 

Barlevav:

(Note: in case you can't tell, Bav is from LA.)

Much more to come.

In Celebration

In celebration of this weekend's sponsor education camp, I shaved my face! NO MORE MUSTACHE!

In celebration of shaving off my mustache, I sang a duet:



Naturally, this is somewhat of a tribute. Check out how the pros do it:


Aaaaand the original:



So in an earlier post, I wrote about how pleased I was with the free software available on the internet. There's a really solid replacement for Photoshop, Office, and as I recently found by stumbling across Inkscape, Illustrator. What there is NOT however, is a satisfactory free video editing program. I tried just about everything out there, and not one of them was easy to use, or capable. If anyone has an extra copy of Final Cut for Windows they're not using, I'd promise to take good care of it.

Azerbai--where?

Azerbaijan. Exergy just got invited to the Tour of Azerbaijan. There is very little chance that we'll actually go, but just the name -- Azerbaijan -- was enough to send my imagination into overdrive. I mean, spend a few minutes on the Wikipedia page. Read about their beautiful capitol city, Baku (perched on that little peninsula into the Caspian Sea). Baku has been around since the 1st century AD, and is currently one of the world's leading chess centers -- did you realize that? Or that Baku is home to the world tallest flagpole (check Guinness)?? Or that they've got plans to build a friggin' Death Star hotel there? No? Well neither did I.

I'd love to learn how to say "which way to the podium" in Azerbaijani. What do you say blog readers -- all in favor of the Tour of Azerbaijan say aye!

Mobile Brains

MOBILE PHONES WILL SOME DAY RULE THE WORLD. Mark my words. I'm not talking about this in a metaphorical sense either -- some day a mobile phone will actually rule the world. Think about it: we almost elected Sarah Palin as vice president, and she's a lot dumber than my new phone. It's not that much of a leap to assume that in a few years, phones will be running for elected office. I mean my phone, the HTC Evo, is basically a magic wand: it can do anything I want. It's everything the future promised us. It's like a tricorder from Star Trek, combined with the hoverboard from Back to the Future, and a light-saber from Star Wars (only with a better camera). Every picture you've seen on my blog since mid-December, including all those "Land of Enchantment" shots,  has been taken with my phone. That movie I just posted on youtube (with the bird dancers) was shot on my phone using an app called Clayframes (it's a simple stop-motion and time-lapse app for Andriod). Right now, I'm typing this post on my computer, but I'm accessing the internet through my phone thanks to a mysterious process called "tethering." I don't understand it, but that's ok -- I don't need to!! My phone understand everything for me!

Well now Blogger is advancing it's mobile abilities, by formatting my blog for mobile phones. Now if you check GliderBison from a smart phone, the page will be automatically formatted for mobile users. Plus I now have the ability to craft and upload posts from my phone.

Huzzah.

Saturday Morning Blarghy

Hello Blog.

These are the things that fill my mind on Saturday morning:

1: Jiminy Christmas was my post about Foot Dynamics rife with typos. I've given it a much more thorough once-over, and added some pictures of the second half of the process (heat-molding the actual shoes). Apologies to Foot Dynamics for the word salad.

2: Right now, three Russians, a Frenchman, and Chinese man are locked inside a tiny windowless capsule. They've been there for the last 233 days, undergoing a "simulation" of a mission to Mars. The goal of the project is to study the psychological hardships potentially encountered during long, interplanetary space travel. Things are about to get exciting for them, as they're close to "landing on Mars," but they have another 287 days left to go, and the return trip is supposed to be where the going really gets tough. I can't imagine signing up for this project -- it would be one thing to spend 520 days bored out of my my mind on a space ship bound for Mars (or back to Earth), where the only option is to continue the mission, and failing to stay sane, or do my job would almost certainly result in a very lonely, vacuum-of-space-induced death. It would be quite another to do so in a storage container, where I could simply open the door and leave the experiment at any time. Because their lives aren't in any real danger, I'd wager that these researchers have a very different set of psychological stresses than a real Mars mission. That said, good on 'em for sticking with it for so long. Personally, after spending 10 days in that silent meditation retreat, I can guarantee that my mind is not ready for a mission to Mars.

3: Let's hear it for Clover Leaf Dairy!

This is some great milk! It's bottled locally (in reusable glass bottles) by a small dairy, one that takes good care of its cows. You know how I know? Because the cows have names. People care for things they name -- it's not just a cow, it's Dora! Plus they invite you to see their operation -- something I know most large-scale dairies don't do. The Boise Weekly does a great job explaining why Clover Leaf Creamery is awesome. Read up Boise.  

BIRDS. DANCERS. CELL PHONE TOWERS. YOU KNOW -- THE USUAL.

BIRDS.

DANCERS.

CELL PHONE TOWERS. 

YOU KNOW -- THE USUAL. 

MAGIC SHOES!!!!!!!

I GOT ME SOME MAGIC SHOES!!!

Gosh it's good to be on this team! In this post, I'd like to sing the praises of yet another one of our sponsors: Foot Dynamics. Located right on Main Street in Boise, this place was all to convenient to find.

I went to Foot Dynamics to get some foot beds for my new Bont shoes. I was expecting to receive some nice little pre-made insoles, possibly ones that I cook in the oven a little bit before doing so. Oh how I'd underestimated Foot Dynamics! I had no idea what I was in for, but upon entering, I was brought back to a special fitting room where I encountered this crazy contraption:

Yes, I know it looks like a medieval torture device. In fact, as I sat in the fitting room, my mind started to run wild with potential uses for this machine (most of them extremely painful uses). However, it's actually an orthotic alignment doohickey that makes custom foot molds. Then, with a poof of blue smoke, Jeff Jacobs -- make that board certified pedorthist Jeff Jacobs -- emerged from a trap door in the middle of the floor. He waved his magic wand over my feet, whispered an incantation or two, and then made me stand in the alignment doohickey, before disappearing behind a curtain, where I assume he reached into his red-velvet-lined top-hat and pulled out these bad boys:

 That's right -- these are 100% custom orthotic insoles. Goodbye gross old blue Specialized footbeds (that smell like cat urine). Hello Food Dynamics Custom Awesome (that smell like unicorns!).

UPDATE: 
But that's not all! Then we cooked my Bont's to a nice-and-toasty 160 degrees:

And Jeff pasted some pads to my boniest joints (to give them a little more room inside the shoe once it's been molded):

Finally, I put the new insoles in the nice-and-toasty Bonts and then put them on my feet. I stood still, with my knees slightly bent for five minutes (just like the instructions said), and presto! Fully custom shoes!

Thanks so much Foot Dynamics!

Emmett-Horseshoe Bend Loop: CRUSHED.

First off, sweet little bit of Exergy news: team car is here. Scope the pic from Remi. Team Camp #1 in T-minus 9 days and counting.

Now then.
What's up Emmett-Horseshoe Bend loop? How are ya? Are ya feeling good? No? I didn't think so after I CRUSHED YOU like that today! BOO YEAH. I friggin CRUSHED YOU LIKE A LITTLE PUNK TODAY!!!

DINO CRUSH!!!!!!

GRAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!


Full loop in under 4 hours (from Camel's Back park to Camel's Back park). All by my dinosaur self.  CRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHACRUSHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now I can't move. 

Giveaway Winner!!

Drumroll please............

and: 

Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:

5 

Timestamp: 2011-01-17 21:46:56 UTC

Congrats to Adamdddave for winning this week's giveaway! You're going to look so fly in your HB cap and Chris King shirt while you fix any bike problem with your new set of handy mechanic instructions, while whizzing across space and time in your time machine, making sure to stop at uRBDO to redeem your gift certificate! E-mail me with your address, and I'll soon ship out your prize. 

Cheers!

-S

KROGG CUP!

KROGG GET NEW COFFEE CUP! THIS PERFECT CUP FOR KROGG!!! 

YOU SEE THAT? SEE KROGG AXE???? MIGHTY STONE-AGE AXE FOR SWINGING!

SEE STONE AGE PREY? ANTELOPES AND GAZELLES MAKE PERFECT MEAL FOR CAVEMAN! 


(Thank you caveman mommy for making beautiful caveman cup.) 

Where I Hurt, and Why

I love the various pains I feel in my body right now -- none of them are bad, or severe -- and all of them tell the story of something I've done to my body. Let's start at the bottom:

Ball of my Right Foot. 
Status: blister.
Cause: playing an unexpected game of racket ball in shoes not exactly designed for racket ball. My dad challenged me to a game while we were at the YMCA yesterday. Not wanting to let my shoes serve as my excuse, I accepted.

Calves. 
Status: really really fucking sore.
Cause: you know, things started off well for me in that racket ball game. I creamed my dad (who is 59 years old I might add) 21-7 in the first game. I was all prepared to give him a pep talk -- you know, the "it's ok to lose a game of racket ball to your son, who is not only nearly half your age, but also happens to be a professional athlete and spends all his time working out -- dad, you you haven't been inside a gym in like nine months, so cut yourself some slack" talk. However, it appears the old man was just a tad rusty, and once he started putting his old "special sauce" on that serve of his, he had me sprinting around the court like a blind jack rabbit, swinging wildly, missing shot after shot, and making my calves extremely fucking sore in the process. He crushed me the next two games 21-3 and 21-4. Nice work old man. There shall be a rematch.

Quads. 
Status: totally blown.
Cause: some heavy duty training. Thanks to my team mate and killer training partner Kai Applequist, I've been getting some extremely high-quality training in. We knocked out some real hard indoor intervals earlier in the week, and I was almost ready to puke today the final time we climbed up to Lucky Peak sitting on Kai's wheel today. Thanks for the suffering Kai.

Left Knee.
Status: pretty much pain free!
Cause: all that time I've spent strengthening my muscles, and working with our new PT. I still get the occasional pain, but it's no longer slowing me down in training. Boo-Yeah!

Groin Muscles.
Status: really sore too.
Cause: see calves.

Abs/Core.
Status: also really sore!
Cause: I hammered out a pretty burly core workout at the YMCA right before I played racket ball -- this must have been the reason for my loss. Yeah -- it was my tired core muscles that allowed my dad to score 19 unanswered points in our second game.

Intercostal Muscles. 

Status: fatigued. 

Cause: shitloads of hard breathing. 

Left Forearm.
Status: mildly sore.
Cause: I guess my racket arm is about as rusty as my return.

Krogg Indulge in Star Trek Relapse

Krogg have confession: since early age, Krogg harbor slightly embarrassing infatuation with Star Trek. Yes it true. When Krogg young caveman, Krogg neighbor hardcore Trekkie, and this neighbor loan Krogg entire Star Trek Next Generation (over the course of several summers). This permanently alter Krogg outlook on life; from thence forth, Krogg envision life among the stars, cruising about with Klingons, and Romulans, and androids, solving galactic mysteries, and helping broker peace between warring alien species'.

Krogg suspect Lt. Commander Worf would have been good friend to Krogg:

Oh how Krogg love himself a good episode of Star Trek, but this love somewhat suppressed in recent years. WELL NO LONGER! KROGG WISH TO SING FROM MOUNTAIN TOPS: KROGG LOVE STAR TREK! Recently, Krogg discover that certain channels on cable television offer Star Trek episodes round-the-frickin'-clock, and this make Krogg very happy. 


Star Trek: Krogg APPROVE!

Exergy News!

Cool new stuff on the Exergy front.

First off -- we've got our wheel sponsor: Williams Cycling! These wheels are awesome. Williams makes a great range of wheels -- from carbon clinchers, to deep dish tubulars, to disc wheels, and Powertap options. These should make our Felt bikes look really really good. Thank you Williams!

Next up, I got a chance to meet our team's soigneur, Mark Dauenhauer. He assessed my injuries and gave me a wonderful massage. He also had some excellent stories. I'm so excited to get to work with Mark throughout this season -- I have no doubt that he's going to make a big difference, both in injury prevention, as well as recovering from hard races.

Next, Exergy made the front page of the Daily Peloton. The article highlights several of the Idaho companies that are joining forces to support the team. Very cool stuff.

And saving the best for last, we got a friggin foosball table at the service course. I'm pretty rusty (read really awful) but our director Tad is an excellent player. Here's Tad, showing off some of his skills:

Well Shit -- Giveaway Revision.

Well shit. As my dear friend and loyal GliderBison reader Jamie pointed out -- uBRDO is no longer in business. This renders my giveaway completely useless. The last thing I want to do is sow the seeds of distrust in the hearts of my readers, so I've decided to make amends. I'm still going to give away a $25 uBRDO gift certificate, but I'm now going to include an honest to goodness time machine. Check it:

Just spin the dials, adjust the giant chronometer, and pull the crank and you'll be whisked away to roughly eight months ago when uRBDO was still in business. That way you can go back and use your gift certificate before uBRDO closes! Honestly, if all you did with your new time machine was redeem a $25 gift certificate, I'd probably have to punch you in the groin -- GO ON AN EXCELLENT ADVENTURE YOU FOOL -- OR EVEN HAVE A BOGUS JOURNEY -- I DON'T CARE!!! JUST USE YOUR GODDAM TIME MACHINE!!!

Here's what I'm actually going to give away instead: 

A Hagens Berman cycling cap! It's basically new (it didn't fit my head too well, so I never wore it riding). 

AND.....a new Chris King shirt (size L):

AND....a really handy bicycle repair quick guide. This thing covers pretty much everything you'd need to completely overhaul your bike. This handy guide is well organized and easy to use -- from basic adjustments, to roadside repairs, to more advanced tuning or repairs -- it's all in there. 

There ya go -- no time machine needed to redeem. Just leave a comment on this blog entry (on the actual blog, not on facebook please), and I'll do the drawing on Monday, 1/17/11 using a random number generator. One entry per person please. 

GliderBison Giveaway!

Allllright- here it comes -- another GliderBison Giveaway!

This one is pretty much only useful for those living in the Seattle area, but it's a $25 gift certificate to uBRDO (a sweet bike shop and sporting goods store in Kirkland). I won this in a race, and never used it. There doesn't appear to be an expiration date, so I'm pretty sure they'll still honor it.

To enter, just comment on this blog. I'll draw a winner next Sunday using a random number generator. Only one entry per person, and yadda yadda yadda. 

GOOD LUCK AND WIN. 

Things Going Great in Boise!

I am in bike riding heaven up here. The weather has been clear and cold (hovering just below thirty most of the day). I got my cross bike out of storage, and took my first cruise on the nearby trails. It was awesome -- swoopy, smooth single-track that went for miles and miles. I found out that I can hop on trails practically across the street that link up to the entire network of trails. Plus they're beautiful:

Today I took a nice loooong ride over to Horseshoe Bend, a town just north of Boise. Here more pictures:

YAAAA HOO.
This ride was long, it was hard, and it was cold. It was so cold, I decided to bust out the tights! I could tell it was cold because frost kept forming on any part of my clothing that wasn't in direct contact with my skin (namely my tights, specifically the region near my crotch). I also formed frost./ice on my mustache. You should have seen the look on the lady's face who worked at the gas station I stopped at -- she glanced at my frost-covered crotch, then at my icy mustache, and (kind of) suppressed a chuckle.

Oh, and I nearly ran over this guy on my way out the other morning:

Back in Boise! Hangin' in the Service Course.

Well the winds of next season have blown me back to Boise. Here I am, in the land of potatoes, starting my life as a professional cyclist in earnest. I'm surprised how different I feel, considering so little has really changed. My life will, for most intents and purposes, be very similar to the one I've lived these last several years. I'm still going to be scraping by financially. I'll still be going to (many of the) same races. I'm still going to be working hard, and giving it my all -- however, my perception is wildly different. I'll send you over to this blog, written by a professional distance runner, which does a good job summing up the difference that an attitude can make.

Right now, I'm chilling out here:

Yes, that's the view from the inside of the team's Service Course.

This is what we're doing today (read the name on there):

Sorting goodies. I don't get to use most of this stuff until our sponsor orientation at the end of the month, but here's some of the treats I get to look forward to:

Casual clothing from Castelli. Sweet!  And these bad boys:

Holy shit these things are nice. Bont -- thank you. These will be my first new shoes since 2008! Here are my current shoes (hand me downs from Adrian Hegyvary -- he used these in 2009, and I used them last year):

The internet is wonderful, and it allows us to do many amazing things, like send you an image of my shoes -- fortunately for you, however, one thing the internet does NOT do, is transfer the smell of my shoes too. When I take these bad boys off they smell exactly like cat urine. Exactly. Like. Cat. Urine. I can't express how excited I am to get new shoes, especially ones that smell like new shoes.

YEAH. YEAH YEAH YEAH.