Thursday, July 22, 2010

Five Fun Floyd Facts

After spending the last 20 minutes of the race at Floyd's side, and seeing as how I now consider Floyd a member of my extended family we're so "tight," I thought I'd share the following fun facts about Floyd:

1: Floyd Loves CANDY!!!
I shit you not, Floyd ate a big old bag of candy during the race. What kind? Swedish Fish.

Yes, while most of us were slurping down Hammer Gel or Clif Bloks, Floyd was enjoying himself a nice big bag of soft chewey Swedish Fish.  I asked him if this was some kind of secret from the pro-tour, and he replied "no man, they didn't really work; I got a stomach ache." Regardless, I'm pretty tempted to eat Swedish Fish on Friday's stage.

2: Floyd Loves Butting Heads With the Officials

The officials have been giving Floyd a very hard time at this race. To begin with, Floyd was not allowed to wear his skinsuit at the start of the prologue. Apparently Floyd's skinsuits have sponsor logos, and there is a rule somewhere out there that says something or other about skinsuits and what kind of sponsor logos they can have. The officials decided to enforce said rule, and the scandal that transpired has been dubbed "jerseygate." Here's Floyd looking like a cat 10 bicycle racer. Now these officials are famous for being sticklers about rules, but Floyd certainly didn't make things any easier for himself by forgetting to sign in to today's road race. Now he owes USA Cycling $30 for failing to sign in before he can start tomorrow's time trial. I'm sure the whole cycling world is eagerly awaiting his next outfit.

3: Floyd Knows When His Race is Over

So I got dropped, and Floyd got dropped. There we are, riding together up the hill, keeping each other company, and keeping each other from pulling off to the side of the road to join the numerous beer-drinking spectators. After ten minutes of this, this guy comes by us, huffing and puffing and pushing as hard as he can. He slowly creeps past us, and then dangles 40 meters up the road the rest of the way up the climb. "That guy really didn't want to ride with us," Floyd said. Hay, dude who got dropped well before us and insisted on riding as hard as you friggin' could instead of joining Floyd and me for some friendly conversation -- YOUR RACE WAS OVER BY THEN. Whether we arrive 8 minutes down or 9 minutes down doesn't really matter.

4: Floyd Must Have a Lot of Lawyers

Floyd told me two stories which involved the use of lawyers. One was regarding the use of his skinsuit: "Yeah, so the official quotes some crazy rule from like 1982 about sponsor logos on jerseys, so I get on the phone and call all my lawyers and 20 minutes later they call me back..." And the other about how he tried to get a car in the caravan: "She said I needed four racers to get a car, so I pointed out that when Lance rode in the tour of the Gila he didn't have four riders, but he still got to have a car in the caravan, but she was having none of it, so I get on the phone and call all my lawyers...." Considering Floyd's last few months, I suppose this shouldn't be surprising. Floyd probably has more lawyers on speed dial than anyone I know, including my friends who are lawyers.

5: Floyd Has Class

Now some of you are going to roll your eyes in disgust when you read that, but hear me out. I'm not necessarily talking about class in all situations, but as a racer dragging his dropped ass up a hill, he's got class. I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but Floyd totally gifted me 79th place. He probably could have come around me in the sprint, but after all the work I'd done, and all the jokes I told, he let me have it. In fact, he even offered to lead me out! Talk about a classy!

6: Floyd Better Watch His Back!
I get to start a mere 30 seconds behind Floyd in today's time trial! Floyd will be my rabbit, and I shall be Floyd's rabbit hound. Nothing like chasing down a former tour winner. Good luck Floyd -- and I'd suggest wearing a real skinsuit today (one without flapping numbers).

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