Sunday, July 4, 2010


Today marks the 27th anniversary of my birth. You may begin celebrating.

Things to think about if you share your birthday with the 4th of July:

1: You always get fire works.
2: You're usually somewhere cool.
3: As a young child, your parents couldn't help themselves, and convinced you that the entire nationwide celebration was for you. By kindergarden you'd developed a massive superiority complex.
4: If you also happen to be named Sam, the Uncle Sam jokes are everywhere! This really doesn't make much sense, because you're not actually an uncle.
5: However, should you some day actually become an uncle -- watch out! Cuz this uncle Sam is going to make sure that his nephews and nieces have some un-fuckin-believably fun 4th of July's. Mark my words.

Happy 4th of July everybody.

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