Thursday, July 8, 2010

STOP. Training Time!

Allrighty Sports Fans, pop quiz:

1: Let's say you finished Nationals feeling a little worn down, a little beat up, a little burned out -- and you have to get ready for the mighty mighty Cascade Classic a mere three weeks away. What would you do? 

A) Go home and cry for three weeks.
B) Go to Idaho where the weather is nice, and the roads are smooth, and the birds are singing, and cry for three weeks.
C) Go home and rest for a week (or cry, depending), but then go to Idaho and train your mother-lickin'-legs off!

The answer is C.

2: Let's say you've decided to go to Idaho and train your legs off. Where should you go: 

A) Boise, because you know the roads like the back of your hand, and it's nice and hot so you can acclimatize to the heat, and there's lots of fun stuff to do while you're not training.
B) Sun Valley, because you know the roads like the back of your hand, and it's high altitude, and it's downright gorgeous there right now.
C) A and B
D) Nampa.

The answer is C. Never go to Nampa.

3: Ok, so you're going to Idaho to train. How are you going to measure your workload? 

A) Well you don't own a working power meter at the moment, so you could leave a trail of bread crumbs on your rides, and go back in the car and count your milage with the car's odometer. Then you could go in a wind tunnel and calculate your drag coefficient, and finally hire a scientist to calculate your wattage.
B) You do own a broken power meter. Maybe you could fix it?
C) Nope. You don't have enough time to do that -- plus your old power meter doesn't work with your new Garmin Edge. I'd suggest contracting that psychic octopus, Oracle Paul, to predict what your wattage will be on your rides.

There is no answer to life's biggest questions. Or this idiotic one.

4: By the way, how the hell did that octopus predict Spain would win? 

A) He's a psychic dude! Psychics know!
B) He's actually the supreme master of the universe and his will becomes manifest, always. Spain won because the Oracle Paul wishes it so.
C) He's a patsy! The Germans needed someone to blame if they lost, and Oracle Paul happened to be in the wrong aquarium at the wrong time.

The answer is B. All hail Oracle Paul!

5: Anyway, none of those power meter ideas sound like good ideas. What about just getting a new one? 

A) Holy shit. I hadn't thought of that.
B) Are you a genius or what? Psychic octopus? How did you know that's what I would do?!
C) Say hello to my new power meter.

5: Awesome. Now get out there and train. How's it going? 

A) So far, so good!
B) So far, so bad!

The answer is A


Colin said...

yes!! this flow chart is so encouraging!!

Perhaps a Parrot said...

It's not a flow-chart, it's a quiz. Did you pass? Also, Oracle Paul shall lead us to our salvation. Pray with me brother!