TESTING....THIS THING STILL WORK???

HELLO FELLOW CAVEMAN AND CAVEWOMAN -- KROGG HERE! 

KROGG AWAKEN FROM LONG SLUMBER IN ICE! 

YES KROGG KNOW IT BEEN MANY MOONS SINCE LAST POST. KROGG "TECHNICALLY" RETIRE FROM RACING BACK IN 2012, AND STOP POSTING ON BLOG VERY SHORTLY THEREAFTER. 

MANY THINGS CHANGE SINCE. HERE SHORT LIST: 

• KROGG GET SLOW AND FAT
• WORLD CHANGE IN COUNTLESS WAYS BIG AND SMALL. FOR INSTANCE: BITCOIN HAPPENED
• AMERICA CONFUSE KROGG. IN CAVEMAN SOCIETY, TRUMP WOULD BE INSTANTLY BANISHED FROM TRIBE FOR COUNTLESS REASONS. IN AMERICA? AMERICA ELECT DONALD TRUMP PRESIDENT. 
• KROGG START MAKING GIANT PUPPETS. THIS SUIT KROGG SENSIBILITIES QUITE WELL. 
• KROGG GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND GET GRADUATE DEGREE. THIS DEGREE CALLED "MBA" WHICH STAND FOR "MASTODON BULLSHIT ARTIST." [DON'T REFLECT ON THIS TOO LONG -- JUST RUN WITH IT -- YES, MASTODON CAN MAKE BULLSHIT, OK?]
• MORE RECENTLY, KROGG SIGN UP FOR GIANT CRAZY MOUNTAIN BIKE RACE CALLED LEADVILLE 100. THIS REEEEEEALLY DUMB IDEA. KROGG HAVE NO BUSINESS LINING UP AT RACE LIKE THAT. THAT RACE KICK KROGG CAVEMAN-ASS EVEN AT PEAK OF CAVEMAN FITNESS -- NOW, KROGG DEEPLY SKEPTICAL OF ABILITY TO FINISH WITHOUT ***GASP*** ACTUAL TRAINING!

FOR THIS REASON, KROGG PARTNER WITH WONDERFUL PLACE CALLED UpCycle Boise, AND ORGANIZE THREE-MONTH TRAINING PROGRAM -- MOSTLY TO FORCE KROGG TO ACTUALLY GET CAVEMAN-REAR IN MAMMOTH-GEAR! 

SO, IT WITH GREAT EXCITEMENT THAT KROGG ANNOUNCE: 

LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS PROGRAM ON WEBSITE. 

COME TRAIN WITH KROGG!

[ALSO, YES, THIS MIGHT MEAN KROGG TAKE METAPHORICAL PEN TO DIGITAL PAPER FROM TIME TO TIME. DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP TOO HIGH. KROGG TYPING BRAIN FEEL RUSTY AND AWKWARD, LIKE CAVE-PAINTER WHO GET HANDS BITTEN OFF BY WILD-CAT.] 

The (Continuing) Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg: JIM THORPE

And now it's time for another installment from your favorite duo, Chris Hong and Krogg.

The Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg

Episode IV: Jim Thorpe

Krogg and Hong spend time in Jim Thorpe in between races. This place good for bikes. Not only is there awesome panny farthing, but there good good bike path. Bike path called Lehigh Gorge Rail Trail. This trail total paradise for hybrid bike -- over 20 miles of smooth flat gravel road with few bumps. For uninformed caveman, hybrid bike have reputation as extremely silly machine -- not capable mountain bike (bad suspension, upright position, 700c wheels), but not capable road bike either (fat tires, flat handlebars, ~95 lbs.). For years, Krogg look down upon hybrid bike like Krogg look down at duckbill platypus.(JUST PICK ONE WILL YOU PLATYPUS? YOU DUCK? OR BEAVER?) 

Then finally, Krogg understand: hybrid bike PERFECT for Lehigh Gorge bike path! LOOK: 

Actual photo from Lehigh Gorge Rail Trail

See? Everybody ride hybrid. Everybody happy. Well Krogg and Hong no have hybrid, but we try luck anyway. Krogg and Hong ride bikes down trail, and pass many cyclist, all on hybrid bike. Krogg begin to doubt earlier assumption that it not about bike; maybe those people right....maybe hybrid bike IS better! HOLY SNARLING SABERTOOTH -- KROGG WANT HYBRID BIKE! Krogg and Hong ANGRY!!!

Then stop for snack and suddenly, Krogg get idea: hybrid bike fit poorly, handle poorly, and make no sense -- if KROGG RIDE HONG BIKE, IT ALSO FIT POORLY, HANDLE POORLY, AND MAKE NO SENSE!!! 

Before long, Krogg and Hong breeze down trail on wrong bike, happy as clam, waving hi to all the other caveman on hybrid bike. 

Krogg even try sprint on Hong bike -- maybe go faster? 

Turns out, no, Krogg no go faster on Hong bike, but Krogg pretty sure Hong save ride data on SRM power meter. Krogg hope Hong coach like giant caveman watts! Then Hong sprint on Krogg bike: 

Hong not exactly about to tear bottom-bracket out of frame there, but Krogg impressed nonetheless; pedals FAR for Hong. 

Anyway, Krogg and Hong ride remainder of Lehigh Gorge Rail Trail on wrong bike, happy as clam. Then get back to paved roads and snap out of crazy hybrid obsession. Krogg and Hong trade back bike, and never speak of hybrid bike again! Thank goodness for paved road, and road bike. 

YES!!!!!

So Krogg encounter bike from old days. This bike called penny farthing. KROGG RIDE BIKE!!!!!! First thing Krogg notice:  BIKE TALL! Holy swinging stegosaurus tail, Krogg high off ground! Next thing Krogg realize: BIKE WOBBLY. Man who own bike say penny farthing less wobbly at higher speed, but Krogg never find out because...third thing Krogg realize: BIKE SLOW! Ben capture whole embarresing (and frightening) spectacle on video and edit. Watch Krogg slowly careen wrong way down one-way street. HERE, FOR YOU VIEWING PLEASURE: 

KROGG RIDE BIKE

Huge thanks to Ben Chaddock for the video. 

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Well, I've gone and done it: I applied to graduate school -- and not only that, I've been accepted! This Fall, I'm going to start the MBA program at Boise State's College of Business and Economics. I've been inspired by other cyclist/students who have shown that it is indeed possible to manage their professional racing career while simultaneously pursuing higher education. It's not the most prestigious MBA in the world, but Boise State has a lot going for it: it's a good program, it's located in Boise (which is where I want to be), and it's very reasonably priced. Getting a business degree will prepare me well for my post-racing career. Not to scoff at my Whitman education, but my studio art degree hasn't exactly been paying my bills. Now let me be clear: I'm not doing this to detract from my racing career at all -- in fact the opposite. By nature I'm not the most structured person in the world. If left to my own devices, I've been known to fritter away my days making coffee, watching the Giro on TV, and updating my blog (exhibit A). I am really excited to get back into an academic environment again -- not just because I like learning, but also because I think school serves as an excellent tool for extracting the most from my time. I believe I will prepare better for my 2012 racing season in school than not. An un-structured off-season can be a dangerous thing indeed, so business school it is, and the structure it brings with it.

TRANSLATION BY KROGG: 

KROGG GO TO BUSINESS SCHOOL! Krogg inspired by other caveman who race bikes and go to school. Adrian do it, why not Krogg? Also, Krogg draw huge inspiration from Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer: 

For those not familiar, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer brilliant courtroom bravado now famous throughout legal world. See here: 

Krogg very excited to start school -- why? Because KROGG WANT LEARN! 

KROGG WIN DIRT BAG DASH!!!

Boy oh boy, Krogg have big day in Idaho. Last weekend, Krogg race in race. Not normal race...this race DIRT BAG DASH! 

This first year for Dirt Bag Dash -- what good race! Race put on by JoyRide Cycles. THANKS JOYRIDE! Race start like this: 

THAT RIGHT! Dirt Bag Dash all on dirt road -- Krogg love. Why Krogg love dirt road? Because when Krogg push on pedals very hard.....KROGG SMASH!!!!!!!!! Krogg teammate Kai also love dirt road! Kai SMASH TOO!! So race start, and before long, KAI AND KROGG SMASH!!!!!! Another part of Dirt Bag Dash that Krogg and Kai love -- BEER! By time Krogg and Kai finish first lap of race, gap to next group on road bigger than gap between mammoth tusks, so Kai ask Krogg question "should we get beer now?" Krogg see no reason why not. So Krogg and Kai stop in feed zone and ask for beer, and race promoters give! Exergy cavemen drink nice cold beer, and then hurry back to bikes, just before next group on road catch. Krogg and Kai burp for a mile or two afterwards, but legs feel great! 


Kai smash dirt roads -- only dirt road smash Kai back! Kai get flat tire. Then Kai fix flat tire. Then Kai flat again! Then Kai fix flat again. Then Kai still finish 3rd. KAI STRONG CAVEMAN. 


Krogg no flat -- KROGG SMASH!!! 


Krogg WIN Dirt Bag Dash. Here podium. KROGG FIRST WIN OF SEASON!!!! 

Dirt Bag Dash also attract....you guess.....DIRTBAGS!!!! Others accuse Krogg of be dirt bag at various times in life, so this race perfect! Only one thing Krogg no plan on....bigger dirtier dirt bag than Krogg! There no words to describe the level of dirt bag achieved by John. Only photo show: 

Notice: John race in jean shorts. On single-speed. With Exergy cap. AND GREATEST FACIAL HAIR KNOWN TO MAN!


John easily win "Dirt Bag Award" for being best dirt bag. 

Congrats to John! 


Krogg win many bike races, but none so sweet as Dirt Bag Dash. DIRT BAGS FOREVER!

A Bike Fit for a Krogg

Dearest Felt Bicycles, 

It is with joyous heart and grateful soul that I take pen to paper. I write not on my own behalf (though my own gratitude is indeed substantial), but rather my words today are written for another: the honorable caveman Krogg. As you are undoubtedly aware, Krogg is not a master of the King's English (nor any English for that matter). Thus, at Krogg's request, I shall translate his grunts and gestures into prose. 

The recent arrival of a new Felt 29er was the cause of much celebration around Krogg's cave. Krogg took one look at those magnificent, humongous wheels, and shed a single caveman tear, for until this day, this glorious day, Krogg had never laid leg upon a steed that fit its rider so well. However, this handsome, hulking machine perfectly mirrors Krogg's riding style; where normal-sized bikes are obliged to steer around obstacles, 29er's simply roll willy-nilly over everything: rocks, bushes, curbs, small animals, large animals, and more. As Krogg is fond of saying: "KROGG NO LIKE STEER! STRAIGHT LINE FASTER!" 

Rarely has there been such a perfect marriage of form, function, and caveman like Krogg and his 29er. Observe the lucky troglodyte, in a jubilant, mountain-top display of gratitude: 

Krogg feels at home on this new monstrosity of a velocipede in the same way a penguin feels at home in the sea, or a hawk feels at home in the skies. From the bottom of his heart, Krogg sends his thanks. 

KROGG SMASH GIANT MOUNTAIN

Krogg have story to tell. One day, one month ago, Krogg and Josh head over to giant giant mountain and Krogg SMASH climb for Williams Wheels. Now, just in time for Tour of California, Krogg video finish for world to see. Ever wonder how much POWER Krogg make when Krogg smash climb? NOW YOU SEE! Ever wonder how how FRIGGIN' HARD this year Tour of California going to be? NOW YOU SEE! Krogg advise you to hurry hurry over to WilliamsCycling.com and check out full profiles of two big ToC climbs, one by Max Jenkins and one by KROGG! Ever wonder how much FASTER tiny pipsqueek Max Jenkins go uphill than heavy caveman? NOW YOU SEE!!!!



TOC Stage 7 Mt. Baldy Short Edit from Williams Cycling on Vimeo.

Gila Stage 1: Mogollon

Krogg race stage 1 Gila tomorrow. Stage 1 Gila straightforward: ride 85 miles into middle of desert, then climb Mogollon. This stage make Krogg cry on more than one occasion -- stage tricky. Now you think "Krogg -- you make nonsense. How stage straightforward and tricky at same time!?" Well Krogg explain. 


First off: wind. Wind blow very very hard in Silver City, so wind slam peloton all day long. This make bike race nervous; nobody want to be caught like caveman with bearskin around ankles in heavy crosswind. (Yes Krogg just use semicolon. Caveman learn how!) Krogg must be careful about wind. 


Second off: tactics. This first stage of stage race. Also, this first time in several years normal caveman will win race instead of Levi Leipheimer (who most certainly NOT normal caveman). Race wide open! This mean every tribe insist on having man in breakaway. Getting into breakaway harder than sleeping with daughter of chief: everybody want to, everybody try, and if other caveman see you about to succeed, he chase you down and stop you! 


Third off: Whitewater Mesa. This trickiest part of stage 1 Gila. Mogollon climb start with right-hand turn onto road with straight cross-wind. Then Mogollon start with brutally steep 13% kicker that last way too long. Of course racers go berserk over kicker at bottom, and totally shatter field. Then, road flatten out pancake flat, but still brutal crosswind for two miles! This mean it really really easy to get snapped off back of field and miss choo-choo train across Whitewater Mesa -- and if you miss choo-choo train across Whitewater Mesa, you lose minute in two miles, because you pull in wind alone (or with group of other dropped caveman). Krogg have bad memories of stage 1 Gila from 2006. And 2007. And 2008. And 2009. Ouch Ouch. 


KROGG PROMISE HERE AND NOW: GOOD MEMORIES OF WHITEWATER MESA WILL BE MADE TOMORROW!!! MARK KROGG WORDS!!!!


Oh, and you can read about Krogg disastrous stage 1 Gila from 2008 (when Krogg literally piss himself out of race), or 2009 (when Krogg blow spoke over Whitewater Mesa). 

Next Up: SEA OTTER

So next race Krogg do called Sea Otter Classic. Oh boy! Krogg like sound of that! Sea otter good animal -- strong teeth, good hunter, fast swimmer, like to smash crustaceans on belly with rock. Good animal make good race! Krogg never do Sea Otter Classic, but hear of many times. Sea Otter Classic big big big festival too -- road bike, mountain bike, vendor booth, clowns and unicorns! Much much much to do at Sea Otter -- Krogg hope he have chance to do more than just race, like watch crazy downhill racers scream "KOWABUNGA" as they dive off cliff, find real live sea otter and give pet, or even just walk around expo area and try to find free swag. 


This Sea Otter first road event: Sea Otter Crit. 

WHAT? HOT DOG CRIT?? WHY??? Krogg LOVE hot dog crit...NOT! (Caveman only recently master nuances of "not" joke.)  Goddamit -- can't they make other type of race for Krogg? Like giant lazy circle crit? Or even better -- giant straight line crit? Oh well. Hot dog crit suit Krogg teammates just fine, so there! 


Look at more Sea Otter course map here.


SEE YOU SOON SEA OTTER!

SAN DIE--MAS!!!!

So first off -- there is a downright splendid photo of me over on the Team Exergy site at the moment. Be sure to check in on the team site whenever we're at a race -- Tad does a pretty good job of updating daily.

Next, Krogg is a sad caveman today. Here's why:

Krogg have rough day at office. Stop once to help Andres chase chase chase after flat tire. Krogg stop twice to help Barlevav chase chase chase after mechanical. Krogg write poem: 


Caveman caveman, why you no chase harder?
Caveman caveman, why you no rail those corners? 
Caveman caveman, why you no have stronger legs?
           Or bigger lungs?
Caveman caveman, why you crack and get lapped?
           And DNF? 
Krogg: 0. San Dimas: 2.
Caveman feeling a little blue.   

Thank you Krogg. Sorry to hear about your race.

So it looks like I get to watch another San Dimas crit from the sidelines. Crap. Another "Bogus Journey," eh? However, this time, at least I have the satisfaction that comes from helping a team mate back to the peloton. I might not have finished, but Andres did -- inside the top 20 (I think), and only a few seconds off the leaders. As disappointed as I am that I can't be there to help tomorrow, I consider my sacrifice a worthy one.

The (Continuing) Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg

Yep, that's right -- it's time for another installment of your favorite dynamic duo -- Chris Hong and Krogg:

The Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg

Episode III: PARTY TIME!

Yowzers! Krogg still reeling from party time! Holy MASTADON – Team Exergy know how to throw a good party! All day long Team Exergy work work work to prepare. Here Carlos washing van:

Krogg and Hong get dressed-up to the nines. We good looking cavemans! Team Exergy provide matching outfits. Trust Krogg: Team Exergy difficult group of guys to dress (at least so guys don't look like slovenly Australopithecus hahaha!). Exergy get pants that fit Hong, and pants that fit Krogg – WOW! Krogg pants require twice as much fabric as Hong pants – but when worn by appropriately sized caveman, both look good! 

Chris Hong and Krogg with caveman Drew purposefully ruining picture. 

Party have several purpose. Purpose one: thank local Boise community for support. Purpose two: present team. Purpose three: HAVE KILLER PARTY. Krogg happy to announce that all three purpose we accomplish! Exergy Development Group throw out red carpet and pull out all stops -- even parking giant beautiful windmill semi-trailer in front. Even though it rain a lot a lot on Monday night, hundreds of people come to classy old Linen Building to see fancy Team Exergy bikes, schmooze with Team Exergy riders, listen to some real country music by Boise's favorite band Poke, and last but not least – see presentation.

Krogg good friend Todd Gogulski there to emcee. Todd former mighty cyclist, and current mighty television commentator, so it special honor to have him there. Everybody have good time – especially Krogg and Hong! Here Krogg, Hong, Josh the Williams Wrench, and Todd Gogulski share photo opportunity:

Krogg and Hong have wonderful time at party: we drink caveman drink, and dance caveman dance, and talk caveman talk until the wee hours (roughly eleven o’clock – which is practically four in the morning by cyclist standards). Krogg like to give big thanks to Boise cycling community. Trust Krogg – all of Team Exergy extremely excited to rep-ro-sent Boise at upcoming races. KOWABUNGA!  

One more group shot...

NEW JACKET!!!!

KROGG GET NEW JACKET!!!! First off -- look how TINY!!! This jacket smaller than itsy-bitsy field mouse crammed inside itsy-bitsy travel sack. Just look -- how cute and tiny!

Next, jacket fit so tiny in jersey pocket Krogg not even know it there! WOW Castelli -- that small jacket!

Ok you think: jacket small but how well it work??? Well Krogg here to tell you -- jacket work great! It warmer than woolly rhino hide, and keep Krogg drier than roof thatched with giant palm frond. LOOK AT RAIN JACKET:

WARM NO??? TINY NO???? COOL NO??>?>? Krogg like to give big caveman thank you to Castelli for new rain jacket. WOW!!!!

Mega-Ouch

TODAY KROGG CRUSHA CRUSHA CRUSHA!!!! KROG AND CARLOS AND BEN AND SHAWN ONGERS CRUSHA 100 MILES TODAY. HARDER THAN ANY DAY ON THE FRONT OF RACE KROGG EVER DO. KROGG CRACKED IN HALF OF HALF OF HALF. THIS HOW KROGG FEEL:

NOW KROGG CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH PIZZA!!!!!

THEN SLEEP.

OOF, TIRED CAVEMAN.

The (Continuing) Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg

Alright everybody, it's time for the latest installment of our multi-part series about everybody's favorite caveman duo: Chris Hong and Krogg.

The (Continuing) Adventures of Chris Hong and Krogg. 

Episode 2: The Bike Change

Krogg like to indulge in daydream. Please, indulge with Krogg: One day, Chris Hong and Krogg start important stage race. Stage one Hong and Krogg work together all day. Whenever crosswind start to blow, Krogg say "get on my wheel Hong!" and Hong survive crosswind. Whenever road go over steep hill, Hong say "hold on tight Krogg!" and Krogg survive hill. Stage finish atop mighty mighty mountain top, and Krogg think Hong able to win stage. "No more wind for you Hong -- Krogg pull you all the way until bottom of mountain, then HONG WIN!" So Krogg pull all the way to bottom of mountain, and Hong stay out of wind real good. Then bad luck happen! Sobbing salamanders, Hong break bicycle! OH NO! If Hong have no bicycle, how Hong win race? Good thing all riders on Team Exergy ride same pedals! Only one thing to do: caveman bike change. "Here Hong, take my bike," Krogg say, and away Hong go! 

 GO HONG, CLIMB LIKE WIND!!!!

Then, next day, stage finish in long crosswind section. Everything going to plan, until -- terrible tousling tundra tiger -- KROGG BREAK BIKE!!!! This of course leave only one option: caveman bike change! "Here Krogg, take my bike!" Hong say, and Krogg hop on Hong's bike and ride away: 

 KROGG RIDE LIKE WIND!!!

Not matter what happen, NOTHING STOP Chris Hong and Krogg.

Fantastic Ride

KROGG LOVE RIDING IN CALIFORNIA!


Today Krogg ride with Seattle friends from Keller Rohrbach team. You should remember these cavemen from Krogg blog. Ian crush Krogg at time trial last year, and Jamie crush Krogg on training ride earlier in year. Well today, KROGG CRUSH BACK!!!

We ride over famous Gibraltar mountain outside Santa Barbara. We go up up up up up! Here photo of group near top of hill.

Also on ride Spencer Paxson -- pro mountain biker for Kona: 

Also near top of hill, Krogg spot these crazy guys:

At first, Krogg pretty sure he find real live GPS (Giant Pigeon in Sky), but then someone tell Krogg these simply hang-gliders, not Giant Pigeons. Krogg ask hang-gliders if they still get nervous when they jump off giant mountains, and one hang-glider reply "I don't get nervous; I get an appropriate amount of butterflies in my stomach before a launch. Hang-gliding isn't an adrenaline sport -- it's an endorphin sport." Sounds nice. Then hang-glider pick up giant wing-bird and march towards edge of cliff:

Then with little fanfare, he simply jump into the void:



Once Krogg and group return to Santa Barbara, Krogg wish fond farewell to KR team, and then ride back to Ventura along coast. Krogg get flat tire on Highway 101, but this do little to disrupt Krogg's good mood -- look at view!

Krogg see other amazing thing on way home. DINOSAURS ATTACK FORREST!!!!!!





Mighty Mastodons -- look at those machines devour trees! This somewhat terrifying to Krogg. If that machine has teeth so sharp it can chew through tree trunk, imagine what would happen to caveman, should he accidentally fall into machine's mouth! Lastly, Krogg want to share file from real Giant Pigeon in Sky of ride. WHAT A GOOD CAVEMAN RIDE!!!!